excerpts of a guest editorial by the caledonian record of st. johnsbury, vermont:

"Black Lives Matter" student protests are happening on college campuses throughout the country. The following represents a small sampling of some of their demands:

Smith College: Media must pledge support for protests or they can't cover them.

Amherst College: President must make a written apology for "institutional legacy of white supremacy, colonialism, anti-black racism, anti-Latino racism, anti-Native American racism, anti-Native/indigenous racism, anti-Asian racism, anti-Middle Eastern racism, heterosexism, cis-sexism, xenophobia, anti-Semitism, ableism, mental health stigma, and classism; White students who put up "All Lives Matter" and "Free Speech" posters must be disciplined.

Emory: Raises and promotions for all black faculty.

Towson, Brown: White students stop protesting in favor of black students.

Kansas: A separate, black-only student government.

A number of protesters called for buildings to get name changes. Still others, ironically, have demanded separate buildings and/or campuses exclusively for minorities. In all cases, people who disagree with the protesters or who won't bow to their (often ludicrous) demands are being labeled bigots.

this post is not an attack of the editorial. the piece concludes with the counsel that a different strategy might be best.

i work for a newspaper. my job is to cover the news. i don't have to agree with or even like the people about whom i write. i don't have to attend the events i cover, unless i feel a personal interest in doing so; many of the articles i write are either about individuals who seek to raise awareness of a cause or have an impressive story to tell or about upcoming events of interest to a majority of the community's residents. my editor says write this; i write it.

the requests made by these individuals ARE ludicrous. a man should make more money because he's black? my standing with my black friends who feel slighted is offensive? a separate, black-only student government?

are you SERIOUS???

thousands of african-americans have fought for equality in this country. it's been sixty years since rosa parks was arrested for not giving up her seat on a bus. it's been fifty-two years since the march in birmingham.

martin luther king, jr. and his friends marched in suits. they presented reasonable, eloquent arguments to sway the majority to be better to each other. they had patience and class.

what the hell is this with wanting separate student governments? why are we regressing? why are these people so incensed by past tragedies they themselves have not experienced? how can they justify such egregious demands?

some citizens of this country have done AWFUL things to each other. SOME. the answer is not perpetuating this by exacting awful revenge on ALL people of a particular race by making such ridiculous requests. this disrespects everything for which king and other civil rights activists fought. there's a right way to fight. it's not this way.

. . .

this, yall... THIS. the president of oklahoma weslayan university nails it.

the thirty-fifth question

this post is one of many for a creative nonfiction project i began several years ago. i call it the griffin inquisition. i've asked my friends and family to pose questions, things they want to know about me that would require more than a yes or no for an answer. the most recent addition comes from my friend, erin.

i know you are a big fan of music. pick a song that is a favorite lyrically, and tell me why and how the lyrics speak to you so strongly.

the prince of darkness
the indigo girls

my place is of the sun, and this place is of the dark

and i do not feel the romance; i do not catch the spark

i don't know when i noticed life was life at my expense

the words of my heart lined up like prisoners on a fence

the dreams came in like needy children tugging at my sleeve

i said i have no way of feeding you, so leave

but there was a time i asked my father for a dollar

and he gave it a ten dollar raise

and when i needed my mother and i called her

she stayed with me for days

now someone's on the telephone, desperate in his pain

someone's on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine

someone's got his finger on the button in some room

no one can convince me we aren't gluttons for our doom

but i tried to make this place my place

i asked for providence to smile upon me with his sweet face

but i'll tell you my place is of the sun, and this place is of the dark

and i do not feel the romance; i do not catch the spark

my place is of the sun, and this place is of the dark

(by grace, my sight grows stronger) 

and i do not feel the romance; i will not be

(and i will not be a pawn for the prince of darkness any longer)

maybe there's no haven in this world for tender age

my heart beat like the wings of wild birds in a cage

my greatest hope my greatest cause to grieve

and my heart flew from its cage and it bled upon my sleeve

the cries of passion were like wounds that needed healing

i couldn't hear them for the thunder

i was half the naked distance between hell and heaven's ceiling

and he almost pulled me under

now someones on the telephone, desperate in his pain

someone's on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine

someone's got his finger on the button in some room

no one can convince me we aren't gluttons for our doom

but i tried to make this place my place

i asked for providence to smile upon me with his sweet face

but i'll tell you my place is of the sun, and this place is of the dark

and i do not feel the romance; i do not catch the spark

my place is of the sun, and this place is of the dark

(by grace, my sight grows stronger)

and i do not feel the romance; i do not catch the spark

(grows stronger)

by grace

(my place is of the sun and)

my sight

(and this place is of the dark and)

is growing stronger

(i do not feel the romance)

i will not be a pawn

(i will not be)

for the prince of darkness any longer

the song is the fourth track on the indigo girls' self-titled album. i was sixteen, i think, when that album was released. i'd been battling depression for eight years. i was terrified i would lose the war. every night i cried myself to sleep. every night i prayed i wouldn't wake up. every morning i woke. every day i was certain i was in hell.

there were songs that i favored, like bette midler's the rose, for example, and this one that i would sing to myself. and if i couldn't sing them, i'd be writing the lyrics down. over and over again. 

it didn't occur to me that the songs were prayers. not until i was in college, and my aesthetics professor was telling the class that singing was the highest form of praise, of prayer. and maybe i survived then, maybe i survive now because i sing. maybe it's because of songs like this.

the lyrics with which i most identify are these: 

the words of my heart lined up like prisoners on a fence

the dreams came in like needy children tugging at my sleeve

i said i have no way of feeding you, so leave...

my greatest hope my greatest cause to grieve

and my heart flew from its cage and it bled upon my sleeve

the cries of passion were like wounds that needed healing

i couldn't hear them for the thunder...

it's so easy to get lost. it's so easy to give in. to feel as though there is no good within you, that no good can come from you. that all your dreams are wasted. i struggle, even now, especially now. the thunder is so raucous, so ominous. and hope can be so vicious. 

but there was a time i asked my father for a dollar

and he gave it a ten dollar raise

and when i needed my mother and i called her

she stayed with me for days

and i know that's the other reason i've survived... because of them. because when i woke, my mom had my clothes clean (and sometimes pressed), and my breakfast made and my lunch packed and a smile on her face. and when i came home she was there with a snack and kind word and all that jazz. and even though i didn't see my father much in my youth, i knew he was always there, giving... and that his extraordinary generosity wasn't limited to the cash in his pocket. they give and give and give. i do my best to be as generous as they.

it's hard for me to sing this, now. it doesn't work quite so well as it did in my younger days. but i have loved this song for decades. the lyrics... the melody... they can be soothing. also, i like the reminder that everyone struggles with something, and maybe my struggles are much smaller than they seem. maybe i am much stronger.

what tune(s) do you most love and why?

the picky playlist

erin made a soundtrack for her life -- her hot one hundred -- using billboard's year-end lists. i'd originally done the same, but i didn't love the result, so i redid it. instead of using the year-end's selections, though, i'm using hot one hundred lists compiled each year (mostly) the week of my birth, only i don't love anything on the charts that week, so we'll start with the year after. and it's hard whittling it down to one hundred, yall. it hurt to cut some from the list.

seventy-four

la grange. zz top.

seventy-six

dream on. aerosmith.

bohemian rhapsody. queen.

seventy-seven

go your own way. fleetwood mac.

seventy-eight

you really got me. van halen.

mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. waylon jennings and willie nelson.
we will rock you/we are the champions. queen.

seventy-nine

i will survive. gloria gaynor.

roxanne. the police.

eighty
lost in love. air supply.

the rose. bette midler.

eighty-one

don't stand so close to me. the police.

eighty-two

open arms. journey.

eighty-three

separate ways (worlds apart). journey.
should i stay or should i go now. the clash.

photograph. def leppard.

i melt with you. modern english.

eighty-four.

against all odds (take a look at me now). phil collins.

hold me now. thompson twins.

eighty-five.

crazy for you. madonna.
save a prayer. duran duran.

don't you (forget about me). simple minds.
everybody wants to rule the world. tears for fears.
the boys of summer. don henley.

eighty-six
kiss. prince.

why can't this be love. van halen.
your love. the outfield.

the power of love. jennifer rush. 

eighty-seven

livin' on a prayer. bon jovi.

with or without you. u2.

eighty-eight

hysteria. def leppard.

angel. aerosmith.

eighty-nine

one. metallica.

wind beneath my wings. bette midler.

ninety

nothing compares to you. sinead o'connor.

hold on. wilson phillips.

personal jesus. depeche mode.

i remember you. skid row.

ninety-one
get here. oleta adams.
where does my heart beat now. celine dion.

silent lucidity. queensryche.

she talks to angels. black crowes.

ninety-two

right now. van halen.

ninety-three

ordinary world. duran duran.

i will always love you. whitney houston.

ninety-four

streets of philadelphia. bruce springsteen.

ninety-six

name. goo goo dolls.

i got id. pearl jam.

caught a lite sneeze. tori amos.

high and dry. radiohead.

ninety-seven

foolish games/you were meant for me. jewel.

secret garden. bruce springsteen.
the freshmen. the verve pipe. 

silent all these years. tori amos.

ninety-eight

sweet surrender. sarah mclachlan.

given to fly. pearl jam.

ninety-nine

angel. sarah mclachlan.

back to good. matchbox twenty.
special. garbage.

two thousand

breathe. faith hill.

one.

yellow. coldplay.

pour me. trick pony.

two.
in the end. linkin park.

how you remind me. nickelback.

wherever you will go. the calling.

a thousand miles. vanessa carlton.

standing still. jewel.

three

i'm with you. avril lavigne.
unwell. matchbox twenty.

four
my immortal. evanescence.

numb. linkin park.

someday. nickelback.

you raise me up. josh groban.
when i look to the sky. train.

five

she will be loved. maroon five.

collide. howie day.

somewhere only we know. keane.

six

because of you. kelly clarkson.
photograph. nickelback.
over my head (cable car). the fray.
black horse and the cherry tree. kt tunstall.

seven

how to save a life. the fray.

eight

love song. sara bareilles.

nine

the climb. miley cyrus.
so what. pink.

ten

when i look at you. miley cyrus.

eleven

don't you wanna stay. jason aldean.

for the first time. the script.
arms. christina perri.

twelve

stronger (what doesn't kill you). kelly clarkson.

rumour has it. adele.
shake it out. florence and the machine.

lonely boy. the black keys.

thirteen

stay. rihanna featuring mikky ekko.

just give me a reason. pink and nate ruess.

fourteen

all of me. john legend.

say something. a great big world and christina aguilera.

brave. sara bareilles.

fifteen

shut up and dance with me. walk the moon.
shake it off. taylor swift.

believe. mumford and sons.

what songs comprise your hot one hundred?

twenty-five favored sports flicks

entertainment weekly made up a list of twenty-five sports movies that score. and it's a pretty good list. i'm not opposed to it. but it failed to recognize some stories that are worth some recognition, and i felt inspired to make a list of my own.

the blind side

chariots of fire

chasing mavericks

cinderella man

the cutting edge

draft day

eight seconds

the express

fever pitch

for love of the game

glory road

happy gilmore

invincible

the karate kid

major league

miracle

moneyball

the program

rocky

rudy

saint ralph

the sandlot

seabiscuit

sixty-one

we are marshall

what's on your list?

the north and the south

shot seconds before the pack scored on the panthers 

myrtle beach... two days before departure

myrtle beach... two hours before departure

north carolina

bodie lighthouse, kill devil hills, mayberry, rodanthe and woodfin valley.