Okay, I know you’re probably expecting a quote from Ghandi or John Lennon or the Dalai Lama. Or maybe even someone like Nora Ephron, or just one of those quotes that you see painted on colorful canvases at Ikea or World Market.

Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

My quote, the quote that unexpectedly changed my way of thinking in a dramatic manner, is from none other than pro skateboarder and reality television star Rob Dyrdek. You might know Rob from his MTV shows “Rob and Big,” “Fantasy Factory” and “Ridiculousness.” If you have a half a brain and choose to not watch MTV (clearly I am not one of those), well then I applaud you, my friend. But you probably won’t know who I’m talking about.

You wouldn’t think of Rob as a traditionally intelligent man. A man who is adept at business dealings and marketing and networking. I mean, the guy hosts a ‘roided out version of “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” for God’s sake. His other show, “Fantasy Factory,” focuses on the way in which he spends insane amounts of money on absolute nonsense.

He paid marine specialists to have a shark bite him so he could earn a kick-ass nickname. He hired a guy to help him get abducted by aliens and another guy to assist him with traveling through time (both endeavors were sadly unsuccessful). He entered a grilled cheese cooking competition, skateboarded down water slides at an abandoned water park and recorded a music video wearing a fat suit.

Not traditionally intelligent, right? Yet, something he said during an episode of “Fantasy Factory” really struck me in an interesting way.

The episode was entitled “Dirty Man-Horse,” and Rob had decided to try his hand at being a jockey. Part of training to become a jockey, apparently, involves purchasing weird furry strap-on horse legs and clomping around town in them. While his 8-foot self was galloping around, Rob told his cousin, affectionately known as Drama, that he was planning to purchase a race horse and jockey it, to which Drama replied, “You can’t just hop on a horse and jockey it.” Without skipping a beat, Rob said, “You can do anything you want in this life. I got horse legs on.”

Dumbest thing to say ever, right? Something about it, though, was just so incredibly liberating and empowering. You can do anything you want in this life.

I think most of us are bound by self-imposed limitations. If only I had enough money, I’d do this. If only I lived in another state or country, I’d do that. If only I didn’t have kids, or a husband, or a job, I’d try this. If only I had enough time, I’d be involved in that.

When we’re kids, our parents tell us we can be whatever we want to be when we grow up. We can do whatever we want to do. But once we hit a certain age, we start to tell ourselves that we can’t really do those things. That it’s not realistic. That it’s just something that adults say to kids because they’re too naïve to understand. And maybe we can’t do all of the things we hoped we could do. We certainly can’t be dinosaurs when we grow up or transform into a puddle like Alex Mack (remember that show?) or live on Neptune. But most of those other things you dreamed of? You can do them. If you really want to, you can. If you put aside all the excuses, which are usually just fears, you can do anything you want in this life.

Rob Dyrdek is proof of this. This middle class guy from Kettering, Ohio became a professional skateboarder at age 12. He now has multiple television shows, owns several companies, runs a charity, builds skate parks throughout the United States, is immortalized in video games, earned 12 Guinness world records… the list goes on and on.

Rob helped me realize it’s never too late to try something new or begin a new adventure. You’re never too old to take up glassblowing or visit Amsterdam or swim with the dolphins. Your opportunities are endless. Next time you second-guess yourself, remember Rob. Wearing his horse legs. Preparing to jockey a horse for the first time. Realize how much more normal your dream is, and jump on that shit! Don’t let yourself get in your own way, and certainly don’t let anyone else tell you what you can or can’t do. Just put your horse legs on, and kick the crap out of life. You can do anything you want in this life.

my friend kathryn gave me this lovely post. and i'm so happy to share it with yall. other contributions were provided by erin, danielle, susannah  meredith and melissa. i hope you've enjoyed them. thanks for reading.

the quotes collective: erin

"Blogging prowess"--I ain't got it. What I do have is a lot of thoughts jumbled up in this ol' brain of mine--a huge spectrum of emotions and feelings experienced on a daily basis and some years of personal introspection banked in my own vault. When Jenn introduced the idea of featuring favorite quotes, I immediately thought of this one:

If you've perused pinterest for any amount of time, you've probably seen it and possibly pinned it yourself. I tried to "research" (google search) the original link or the author. I just found a lot of links to tumblrs and flickrs and quote sites and forums, but no answer to its origin. Author unknown it is.  

Eight words that are clear, concise, to-the-point with a powerful message; effective and relatable; easy to remember. Heck, if you can't remember the eight words, maybe take this approach:

(Side note: the tattoo is reportedly on the hip of an all-time favorite musician--songwriter, artist, singer, tattoo enthusiast Mr. Butch Walker. But this entry isn't about him. Sorry for the distraction.)

I stumbled across this quote during a time in my life that was one of the toughest. Correct that. It was the toughest time in my life where I was challenging myself to self-examine some poor choices, some big mistakes, some nasty feelings and some rather unpleasant circumstances surrounding my life. This message was just what I needed. I have become a big believer in lessons and learning from mistakes. Consequently, I've become a firm believer that those that do NOT try to learn from the past are wasting valuable time and opportunities for a bigger, better, healthier life. Bitterness is an ugly, encompassing power that can take hold of you. I fought, and I fought hard to get "better" and put the "bitter" behind me.  

Everyone has their own struggles. Many of life's challenges that others have experienced are 10x, 100x worse than what I've faced. We've all had tough times; some feel them worse than others; some handle them better than others. I think if more people strived to be "better" instead of "bitter," then we'd all be headed in a more positive direction. I know it's easier said than done. I fight to have this philosophy permeate through me daily.  It's not always there, but sooner or later, I snap back to it, and I feel "better" for it.  

Now, maybe I need to get that tattoo like the one pictured above...

this post comes to you all the way from australia by my one of my oldest friends, erin. she's a good gal to get to know. pop by her blog, and say howdy!

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you? made you laugh? gave you strength? i would love to include it as a guest post here. i've got one spot left! if interested, email me: criticalcrass (at) me (dot) com.

the quotes collective: danielle

So, I don't remember ever hearing Winnie the Pooh actually say that...but I love it.

One day I saw that on Pinterest, and it was a day when I really needed to have that perspective.

Isn't it weird how Pinterest can kind of be like the Bible that way... I mean you can browse through and find something that fits your needs and comforts you....

Most of the time for me, it's stuff like this...

Yea... I dig funnies. But anyways, back to the ol' Pooh Bear quote...

I found that roughly three months ago. Michael, my husband of one month at the time, was about to leave for Afghanistan and I pretty much felt like the walls were crumbling around me. And then I saw that quote.

 

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

That definitely hit home with me...  I even sent it in a text to Michael.

I was feeling so sorry for myself because I did not want Michael to leave. I was scared, and I knew I would miss him more than I'd ever missed anything. But when I read that quote I realized that I was lucky. I was/am lucky to have someone who loves me as much as I love him. I'm lucky to have someone who treats me well and who makes me feel loved every second of every day. While I was still very sad for Michael to leave, heartbroken even, I was able to keep in perspective that it was better for me to feel that heartbreak because I loved him so much than to have someone I felt nothing for. Now I feel lucky every day.

Saying goodbye sucks, and that's for sure. But if you have someone that makes goodbye so hard it nearly kills you... count your blessings because you, my friend, are lucky!

Here are some more pins that got me through Michael's tour :).

 

 

So... with all of that being said, I guess it's just really important to love and to trust love and to realize that if you have love you are lucky. Trust that, and you can make it through anything.

Coincidentally I am typing this at 4:30 a.m. from a hotel. I came to spend the weekend with Michael (we still don't live together because of things he has to do for the Army). He left for work an hour ago, and I miss the crap out of him and am really dreading my four hour drive back home alone... but I just have to repeat the words of that lovable bear... I'm lucky to have someone that makes saying goodbye THE WORST THING EVER... okay, I changed it a little. Haha!

i found danielle's blog not too long ago. she's a cute gal with a lot of spunk. i think yall will like her, too. go say howdy.

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you? made you laugh? gave you strength? i would love to include it as a guest post here. i'll be running this series through the holiday season, up to the week prior to christmas. so there's plenty of time. if interested, email me: criticalcrass (at) me (dot) com.

the quotes collective: susannah

I don't remember a time when I didn't love Les Miserables. I grew up singing the songs, learning how to play the music on the piano, and listening to my brothers fight over who got to sing which character's part (I, of course was ALWAYS both Cosette AND Eponine. No one could take that from me). Our parents even took us to see the musical live while traveling in England while I was still in elementary school.

As I grew up and truly listened to and processed the lyrics in the musical I fell in love with it all the more. What an amazing story of redemption and life change! A man who was left to rot in jail was granted forgiveness by a priest and changed his life around--touching so many around him. As a Christian, I believe that this story is an amazing example of what God does in the lives of those who believe in His sacrifice.

The quote that stands out to me the most comes at the very end, when {lots of spoilers ahead} Valjean is dying. He asks God to forgive his trespasses and bring him into His keeping. As he breathes his last, he sums up his theology in one incredibly deep phrase: "To love another person is to see the face of God."

You see, he understood that God is love. Period. There is no attribute of God that supersedes His love. He understood that we experience a small part of who God is when we are able to truly love another person. As Valjean lay dying, he knew that he had lived life well because he had been like Jesus Christ in his life sacrifice for his adopted daughter Cosette. He understood God so much more through his care for Fantine in her final days. He displayed God's love to Javert when he refused to kill him.

He summed up the biblical passage, John 15:13, so well.

It's amazing that Jean Valjean in Les Miserables can sum up such a key aspect of his (and my) faith in one little sentence. I want to be more like that.

indeed. as do i. 

susannah's one of the kindest bloggers i've had the privilege to know. i think yall would like her. go say howdy!

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you? made you laugh? gave you strength? i would love to include it as a guest post here. i'll be running this series through the holiday season, up to the week prior to christmas. so there's plenty of time. if interested, email me: criticalcrass (at) me (dot) com.

the quotes collective: meredith

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
love like you'll never be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening,
and live like it's heaven on earth.

William W. Purkey

 

This quote encourages us to live our lives with fearlessness and joy. Purkey tells us to live life out loud because we only get one shot at it. It's a beautiful quote, sure, but a dangerous one. You cannot live like this, people. Not unless you want to drive every single other human being out of your life. Let's break it down.

 

1. "Dance like there's nobody watching."

Okay. I am thirty-six years old. My dancing days are long gone. I'm not talking about slow-dancing with my husband (which we never do) or mild bouncing at a Bon Jovi concert (which I did last month and fucking rocked it). But anything that requires more than the bare minimum amount of movement is out the window. I will not dance like there's nobody watching unless there is truly nobody watching. Because I'm standing in my closet. With the music down. And the lights off. And the mirrors covered like I'm sitting shiva for my youth.

2. "Love like you'll never be hurt."

Let me tell you a little something I've learned about life. Painful experiences happen for a reason; they are lessons you should grow from. Romantic relationships in particular are rife with these lessons. If you are in a relationship, and you get hurt, and then you get into another relationship and pretend that the bad stuff in the first one never happened, then you are an idiot. You are also crazy. You are a crazy idiot. Loving like you'll never be hurt means telling someone you think that you'd have cute kids together on the second date. Loving like you'll never be hurt means calling and e-mailing multiple times a day because you “miss them.” Loving like you'll never be hurt means assuming a future with someone who is now terrified of you. None of that shit is cute. You have to love despite having been hurt and despite the fact that you may very well be hurt again. THAT takes courage. SHAZAM, PURKEY! Point: Bland.

 

3. “Sing like there's nobody listening.”

Lord have mercy. Have you heard how people sing even when they know very well that there are lots of people listening? Save it for the shower, Pavarotti. It's called caring about your audience. If you're singing like crap without caring about who's around you, it's either because you think you're really good which just makes everyone uncomfortable or because you don't give a shit what other people think which means you probably also belch at restaurants and take off your bra at the office. Either way, you're not making any friends.

 

4. “Live like it's heaven on earth.”

No. Don't be this guy. This is the guy that says, “Oh, come on. It's not all bad! You still have a whole other leg!” Sometimes life sucks, and that's okay. Deal with it. Revel in it. Go eat a carton of Haagen-Daaz and come back stronger than before. The only way to really enjoy the good stuff is to go through the bad stuff, right? And the only way to make a real friend is to tell them about the time you got humiliated by that boy or when you sharted at a PTA meeting. Because that's what makes us relatable and human.

 

So, thank you for the lovely quote, Purkey. It's uplifting and inspiring as long as you don't think about it too hard. But let's never forget that some of us are terrible dancers, that there are times when bursting into song is not appropriate, that you are going to get your heart broken, and that sometimes life is a big ol' bag of turds. Flaming turds. From a dog who has been fed cheese.

What's important is being happy despite knowing that flaming dog cheese turds are out there. THAT'S the trick.

And that is my quote.

this fantastic contribution to the collection was brought to you by the insightful and witty meredith bland who posts at pile of babies. you need her humor in your life. you really, really do.

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you? made you laugh? gave you strength? i would love to include it as a guest post here. i'll be running this series through the holiday season, up to the week prior to christmas. so there's plenty of time. if interested, email me: criticalcrass (at) me (dot) com.

hard conversations

sometimes i think, i was a good person once. i was. i'm not now. i drink too much. not so much that i need to be committed somewhere. but enough. just enough that i shouldn't. i'm too judgmental. and i think too much. too often, what i think... it's ugly. and i can't talk about it. i can't. i can cry, though. i do a lot of that.

the other day, i found this video. maybe you've seen it. it's about coming out of the closet. now. that closet, it doesn't have to be labeled gay. mine's not. the point of the video is that we all have a closet. and sometimes we hide in it.

i'm having a glass of wine tonight. it's been a rough day. this might not be the most coherent post i've ever written.

but sometimes, writing... it helps.

i'm not a good person. i'm generous, yes. i try to be thoughtful. but... i'm not good.

i spent the day with my mother. she's in her seventies. she's watched her three children wreck their lives. she's watched us piece them back together only to wreck them again. she was a teacher. i tried to tell her today that the wreckage isn't a reflection on her parenting skills. she told us how to be good. it was up to us to listen.

but she couldn't agree with me.

she thinks the wreckage is her fault. that she should've tried harder. done better. i tried to tell her that if she had twenty students, and three of them failed, that it's their fault. they should've payed attention in class, done their homework, studied harder. the other seventeen passed, so obviously, she'd done her job.

but the three failed. so, in her mind, she hadn't.

before i went to work tonight, i stopped by the bookstore to check out max lucado's you are special. my friend had written a blog post for me about that story. and it helped, reading that. i sat there, on one of those impossibly small chairs, weeping as i read.

and then i went to work. and was reminded of how impatient and intolerant and temperamental i can be. of how miserable i sometimes think life is.

and then i came home. poured myself a glass. dragged myself upstairs to the study. got on the computer, logged onto facebook...

and there's the story of the secret santa and the heroin addict.

seeing these videos made me think of this quote:

sometimes i forget.

. . .

and the communion song for saturday night's mass is be not afraid.

the quotes collective: melissa

'Remember,' Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door, 'you are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes.'

Many of you are probably unfamiliar with the book You Are Special by Max Lucado. It's a children's book, and one I wouldn't have ever picked up myself if I were to be entirely honest. However, it was given to me by a friend during a time in my life where I was struggling. Struggling to decide if I had the will to go on, if this life was even worth pursuing... And sometimes the most powerful truths come in the simplest ways.

The story follows Punchinello, a Wemmick who lives in a town full of other small wooden people who daily give out star or gray dot stickers to each other. Those who are pretty, talented or popular are covered in stars. Those who are ugly, clumsy or make mistakes are covered in gray dots. Punchinello is covered in gray dots and is feeling particularly down about himself when he meets another Wemmick who has no stickers whatsoever. She points Punchinello to the woodcarver at the top of the hill and says he is the reason she is not covered in stickers. Punchinello goes to visit the woodcarver and is told that he was made special, seeming imperfections and all. He decides to believe his maker and as he does one of his gray dot stickers falls off.

I know that was quite the long intro there but I just feel that the story is really worth a read. Anytime I am feeling down or lonely or like a failure, I read this children's book and am encouraged not to let the opinions of other people be the opinion I hold of myself. Not everyone is looking out for my best interest or knows me for who I truly am, so who are they to judge. The only opinion I believe I should ultimately care about is that of my Maker. He made me special... And He doesn't make mistakes.

this bit was written by my friend, melissa, who truly is a godsend to me. i'm so grateful i've got a gal like her in my life.

i'd wanted to start this series off the first monday in november. when i went to her and said i was in need of a contribution to get the ball rolling, she was quick to give me something. and what a wonderful something it is.

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you? made you laugh? gave you strength? i would love to include it as a guest post here. i'll be running this series through the holiday season, up to the week prior to christmas. so there's plenty of time. if interested, email me: criticalcrass (at) me (dot) com.

food for thought

failure at some point in everyone's life is inevitable,
but giving up is unforgivable

catherine biden

in september of last year, i attended a blogging conference in dallas, texas. it's about a four-hour drive from here--a northern suburb of houston--to there. i'd meant to leave at about ten that morning so that i could get to the hotel around two, get checked in, wander a bit and make myself presentable for cocktails. but my car's stereo decided at eleven, when i was finally ready to hit the road, to stop working. and it took two hours and a couple of hundred bucks to get it replaced.

i liked the display on my old stereo better. i'm not one of those gals who has to have the top of the line in electronics. my iphone, for example, is two years old--a four with three-g service. and yes, sometimes i wish it were a little faster, but it does what i need it to do. it works. when it stops working, i'll replace it.

my car stereo? i'd been using the factory one for seven years. the new one? it's got one of those digital displays that flashes the name of the song being played. but when i'm listening to a cd, more often than not, it can't display the title. instead it reads: FAILURE.

i see this a lot in my daily travels. i've thought this a lot in my life. i am a forty-year-old, single, childless woman who resides with her parents because she can't support herself.

in the past year, i've gone on two dates. two. with different guys. the first? he showed up forty-five minutes late and split the check. the second? he wined and dined me. swept me off my feet. blindsided me. and then he disappeared.

i work a part-time gig as a sales associate. when i find the confidence to apply for better employment, i'm denied the possibility of an interview. i don't even get a reply for having submitted my resume. but these, ultimately, these are not the things that concern me the most.

maybe i've given up when it comes to love and life. but my worth, my talents... they're tied to my craft.

i sat here at this bar this morning with a copy of my manuscript--a collection of personal essays, many of which have been posted here--and an issue of writer's digest that featured agents seeking new authors. i looked over the list. i googled how to write a book proposal for a nonfiction piece.

and my heart sank. because i wondered why anyone would care about this. my blog's not got a great following. i don't get thousands of page views per day or dozens of comments on each post. and these are the sorts of things that would convince an agent to read more than a few pages of your work.

i shut off my laptop. i closed the magazine and the binder containing my manuscript. and then i got out my pen and paper. and i wrote.

because this is what i do. this is what brings me happiness. this is where i succeed.

have you got a quote you love? something that's touched you?
made you laugh? gave you strength? i'm looking to do a series
come november and am in need of guest posts.
the more the merrier. email me if interested.

weeding

failure at some point in everyone's life is inevitable, but giving up is unforgivable (catherine eugenia finnegan biden). 

‘there is no use trying,’ said alice; ‘one can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘i dare say you haven’t had much practice,’ said the queen. ‘when i was your age, i always did it for half an hour a day. why, sometimes i’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’ (lewis carroll).

if you’re going through hell, keep going (winston churchill).  

could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances (mr. darcy—pride and prejudice)?   

be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul (max ehrmann).  

to laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded (ralph waldo emerson).   

nonsense. i have not yet begun to defile myself (doc holliday—tombstone).   

never start with the head; the victim gets all fuzzy (the joker—the dark knight).   

my mind has an endless capacity for useless information (keenan—playing by heart).   

the women i like best aren't always strong, and they're certainly not invincible (lisa kogan).

speak your mind, even if your voice shakes (maggie kuhn).    

i have been told there is much to see upon a walk, but all i've detected so far is a general tendency to green above and brown below (tom lefroy—becoming jane).   

well, it certainly illustrates the diversity of the word (connor mcmanus—the boondock saints). 

if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best (marilyn monroe).   

i am jack's smirking revenge (narrator—fight club).   

courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘i will try again tomorrow.’ (mary anne radmacher).   

the million-guys-are-after-you-and-they're-blinded-by-your-beauty kind of shit. real big stuff. you know, that just—even—we got the dick that kidnaps you and sticks you in a cave, and you're guarded by a five-headed dragon. you know? and the tales of your plight are spread throughout the land, and all the guys go and put on their shoes so they can see what's up, but none of them have the balls to save her (henry roth—dedication).   

i think we live our lives so afraid to be seen as weak that we die perhaps without ever having been seen at all (alan shore—boston legal).   

any man who judges her as harshly as she judges herself isn't worth knowing (carla sosenko).

who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? (hunter s. thompson).