One. Gumbo or bisque? Bisque. Because lobster and butternut squash.

Two. Hallmark or American Greetings? Hallmark. Because I care enough to send the very best.

Three. Photoshop: Yes or no? No. Because it's not easy.

Four. Boutique or resale shops? Boutique. Because I prefer new clothes to hand-me-downs.

Five. Infinity or olympic swimming pool? Olympic. Because I'd want to get a good workout rather than a soak.

Six. Polish or Italian sausage? Italian. Because it sounds better.

Seven. Five minute writing prompt: Foil. So in the past couple of weeks, my father has been diagnosed with heart and kidney failure and cannot get the proper care he needs to prolong his life because of COVID-19 and the measures hospitals have taken to protect their current patients and staff. I have whittled my expenses to half of what they once were. I have spent the majority of the past week at the store room, whittling my belongings and relocating them from a ten by fifteen unit to a ten by ten because it costs half the price to have a room two-thirds the size, and I knew I was wasting money on the larger unit, but I hadn't wanted to jack with moving the crap because I knew it would suck, and it did, especially because the county in which I reside is now on lockdown because of the virus... I'd thought I'd have until the thirty-first, but no... It had to be finished yesterday, and I miraculously managed to find a few souls who were strong and courageous enough to help me. And then on the way home I got a flat tire. This month has SUCKED. Foiled again.

Eight. After work, a woman boards the train she usually takes home. Her car is almost empty, which strikes her as a bit strange -- it is six o'clock in the afternoon, well into rush hour. She shrugs it off to luck and and sets to reading her book.

When the train makes its first stop, however, the woman realizes something is wrong. The stop is not one with which she is familiar -- or indeed that should exist in reality at all.

Because the first stop is the actually the only stop -- the banks of the River Styx, and Charon awaits in his canoe with an outstretched hand for the quarters needed to pass into hell. She has none. But she cannot stay on the train. The conductor drags her from her seat and boots her onto the ground -- her book and bag fly after her, then vanish. She is the last to leave. The train vanishes. She watches as the others board the ferry, and then they, too, vanish. The world is gray and bleak, and she sees nothing.

Nine. A visiting opera gains fame when one of its actors dies on stage, during a live performance. What is more, the cause of death is by no means natural. 

The man died because the owner of the theater where the opera was being performed has been struggling to make ends meet and needed a draw. When the owner learned the lead was deathly allergic to peanuts, he bought a giant bag, crushed them up and hid them strategically in the costumes and props.

Ten. If you had to make a pros and cons list about yourself, what would the top three be in each category? Pros: Resilience, tenacity, and generosity. Cons: Temper, paranoia, fearfulness.

Eleven. What do you think is the most important thing to save money for? Rainy days... like the ones we're experiencing now.

Twelve. Do you think peace is an illusion? No.

Thirteen. What makes you a good friend? Empathy.

Fourteen. What is your most expressive characteristic, and in what ways do you express it?  Crassness, often in the words I choose and the tone of voice I use.

Fifteen. What makes you sentimental? Love.

Sixteen. Dancing or singing? Singing. Because I'm better at it, and it brings me comfort.

Seventeen. Vintage or modern? Vintage in style, but new. Because modern decor seems cold to me, but I don't like hand-me-downs.

Eighteen. Video games or board games? Board games because they're always changing and allow for good competition with others.

Nineteen. Private jet or yacht? I would rather not have either, but if I was forced to choose, the jet because it gets there faster and allows for more convenient travel.

Twenty. Are you a planner or spontaneous? Spontaneous, because plans invite disappointment.

Twenty-one. What is the first thing you notice about other people? Pallor and stature.

Twenty-two. What is the rudest thing a person can do to another? Ignore someone. Fail to acknowledge.

Twenty-three. What's the most valuable thing you own? It's an exception, and that's one of the reasons it's so valuable to me: the antique icebox my great-uncle restored and great-aunt painted.

Twenty-four. Whom do you think is the best Olympian ever? Michael Phelps.

Twenty-five. Do you think artists should censor their work so they don't offend anyone? Hell no.

random quarter

one. three things i like about myself: intelligence, compassion, generosity.

two. three things i dislike about myself: insecurity, temper, laziness.

three. the happiest person i know: michelle.

four. the two people i like and respect the most and why: aurora and cynthia because they are like sunshine.

five. i am: a child of god, one who is never quite happy with her lot in life.

six. the five qualities i most admire in others: perceptiveness, honesty, dedication, resilience and affability.

seven. my mission: to last the day.

eight. what i would attempt if i knew i could not fail: the things that come to mind are ideas put in my head by family and friends, and i am not confident that these wants are truthfully my own so i don't feel comfortable with this topic.

nine. five people who can help you achieve your goals: the only goal i have now is to survive the day, and the people i would most like to have near me for that are aurora, cynthia, erin, rebecca and traci.

ten. five things i've been procrastinating doing: cleaning out the closet, creating a prayer corner--a war room--in my bedroom, cleaning out my vehicle, applying for full-time employment and cleaning out my storage unit.

eleven. ways to make monday magical: i welcome ideas for this one. all i can think of is allowing myself a long, hot soak in fragrant bubbles and salts whilst sipping a glass of some kind of a white.

twelve. do you know how amazing you truly are? no. no, i do not.

thirteen. natural gifts: i can sing. that's pretty much it.

fourteen: wonders of the world i'd like to see: the great barrier reef, the grand canyon and the northern lights.

fifteen. ancestral lands i'd like to visit: austria, ireland and scotland.

sixteen. i've always wanted to: attend a red sox game at fenway park; drive the length of route sixty-six; drive the length of highway one; take the train across the country; spend a week on a beach in fiji.

seventeen. if the average lifespan is an estimated twenty-seven thousand, three hundred seventy-five days, how many do you have left? ten thousand seven hundred seven.

eighteen. what did you worry about six months ago? a year ago? five years ago? my well-being. always me first because i'm a vain woman. my biggest fear in life is that i would become a spinster, and yes, that has come to pass.

nineteen. when was the last time you did something for the first time? december twenty-fifth: i played game of thrones settlers of catan with my mother.

twenty. about what are you passionate? nothing.

twenty-one. what is something you've always wanted to do but haven't done? know romantic love.

twenty-two. how will you change the world? no fucking clue.

twenty-three. about what do you care? my family and friends.

twenty-four. how do you want to be remembered? for my heart... as scarred as it is, it is good.

twenty-five. people who have made you feel appreciated and special: amelia, megan, cassady, jace, maylee, elizabeth, nicki, luke, landon, liberty, colton, piper, cam, bentley and justin.

random quarter

stephanie posted about questions you didn't ask today, borrowing from two hundred questions she'd found. i thought i'd use some from that list as prompts for an rq post.

one. what is one of your favorite smells? gardenia. it's hard not to feel pretty when i've used bodycology's pure white gardenia bath products. pair that with ralph lauren's romance, and i feel fine (at least for a little while... the trouble is, i don't use this stuff every day. maybe i should).

two. what lie do you tell most often? i'm good.

three. if you had to change your name, to what would you change it? the one i've got suits me pretty well: jennifer kristin. lots of i's in my name, and for a gal who is as selfish as i am... also, jennifer is the cornish derivation of the welsh guinevere. i've welsh ancestry (damn proud of it, yall), and i'm as weak as guinevere was. but if i absolutely HAD to change it... i would choose elin (the welsh spelling) josephine, after my paternal and maternal grandmothers.

four. how do you get in the way of your own success? i let people's opinions of me matter; i believe what they believe; i assume that if someone more beautiful and bright and brave had come up with the idea for a thing, it would fly far and fast, but because i came up with it, it'll fall flat and i'll be humiliated or ignored; i let my anger at injustice and envy at others' successes color my logic. i'll think i'm better than someone and that they succeed because they know the right people; i know plenty of the right people, but many can't be bothered to help, and i know it's because i'm not beautiful and bright and brave, that if i were, they'd be clamoring to give me a hand. i'm angry. that's how. i've been angry since i was eight. it kept me alive for a long time, that anger. it's keeping me here now, but i'm stranded. i don't care much about fighting anymore. i wish i did.

five. to what stereotype do you completely live up? that mentally and physically disabled individuals can't contribute much to society and should be hidden away.

and since stephanie referenced her astrological sign in her post and i've a fondness for the zodiac...

this about aries from darkside zodiac by stella hyde:

punctuality

you are either thirty minutes early, raring to go, and incandescent that everyone else is late, or you turn up four days later at a different venue and are outraged that the expedition left without you.

toothpaste

after a five-minute rant in the bathroom when you throw everything out of the window looking for your tube of toothpaste, you finally find it in the laundry basket. you hammer it flat with your bare hands.

temper gauge

zero degrees to boiling point is instantaneous, and occurs roughly every two minutes because people just won't do what you tell them, and you've lost the keys/hammer/remote control/plot.

yes, to all of this.

six. about what are you most insecure? my face and figure.

seven. what television show or movie do you refuse to watch? so many. television (and i realize some of these may no longer be running, but i'm listing them anyway because i can): the walking dead; family guy; american horror story; house of cards; breaking bad; vikings; criminal minds; sherlock; true detective; homeland; dr. who; dexter; lost; sons of anarchy; orange is the new black; better call saul; westworld; true blood; orphan black; the vampire diaries... movies: taxi driver; psycho; seven samurai; jaws; a clockwork orange; inception; the shining; lawrence of arabia; raging bull; the exorcist; once upon a time in the west; memento; pan's labyrinth; war for the planet of the apes; split; transformers: the last knight; it; fifty shades of grey; girls trip; annabelle: creation...

eight. who's your go to band or artist when you can't decide on what to listen? usually u2 or van halen.

nine. what's the one thing you did that you really wish you could go back and undo? it's a tie. i regret each of these things equally. the first has to do with the only man i've ever loved. sometimes i wish i could go back to approximately nine p.m. tuesday, april sixteenth, two thousand two at carlyle place apartments at the intersection of babcock and callaghan roads in san antonio, texas, to the day i should've tried harder to shove aside the thoughts swirling -- mine: how could you possibly have thought he would be interested in you? how could you have forgotten how ugly men think you are? how could you have been so goddamned gullible? why the fuck would he want to be with you when you know nothing about love and life? look at all the scars on you; stupid, foolish girl; theirs: no one will ever marry you because you're too ugly and no one wants to wake up next to something that ugly every morning; you should go kill yourself because you're a waste of valuable air and space and there are more important people who need it; ugly; stupid; worthless. i was twenty-eight. the day i'd met him, he had told me he thought i was gorgeous. i should've clung to that, but i couldn't. i should've either walked away from him that day or found a way to deal with the insecurity, but i couldn't. and since i couldn't... approximately eight p.m. thursday, march twenty-first, two thousand two at international house of pancakes at the intersection of de zavala road and interstate ten in san antonio, to the day i met him and we gave each other tarot card readings and the cards said he would not be good for me (i wasn't so stupid as to ask that question aloud, by the way, but my face was so stricken when he'd revealed that ace of spades that he'd asked about it... i knew better than to tell him. i should've walked away from him then. all those times i saw that opera carmen in my youth... i should've known to pay attention to the goddamned cards. it was his idea to do the reading, by the way. how weird is that? i'd thought it was a neat idea for a first date. i'd liked that we weren't going anywhere special. i should've known we weren't. i wish i had saved myself the heartache. i wish i had saved him from myself. i wish this didn't matter, still. it probably wouldn't if i could let myself really care about another man again, but i can't. i loathe who i was after i lost him. i was the best possible version of myself... and then i was the worst.

that's the first one that comes to mind. and i always feel guilty, and angry, that he's first, when it should be my older brother and the day he tried to give me a proper hug. he always gave me one-armed ones. i wish i could tell you the day. it was after i lost the boy, before i learned that i could love my brother again. i was hating him for all the hurt he'd caused. i was at my younger brother's house, and jon was there with us and our friends, and i was either coming or going and he went to hug me -- a good hug, with both arms, tight tight as i call it to my niece and nephew, and i didn't let him. i didn't really hug him back. i gave him the kind of hug i'd come to expect from him. i wish i could have held onto him a little better.

ten. on what topic could you give a forty minute presentation with no preparation? either what it's like to deal with depression on a day-to-day basis or how to ace an essay.

eleven. what are you afraid people see when they look at you? how flawed i am, how much i lack. 

twelve. what is one thing you really want but can't afford? major dental work.

thirteen. what gives your life meaning? writing.

fourteen. what did you think you would outgrow but haven't? an appreciation for kraft singles cheese slices and premium saltines. it's still my go-to comfort food, and i always feel like a little kid when i'm eating that stuff.

fifteen. what keeps you up at night? shame and inadequacy and fear.

sixteen. what is something you will never do again? fall in love.

seventeen. what's the best thing about you? talent, tenacity and resilience.

eighteen. which of your scars has the best story behind it? the ones behind my ears and along my hairline. surgeons took my face off twice when i was a baby.

nineteen. if you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what rule would you make? respect others' personal space.

twenty. what bends your mind every time you think about it? the implausibility of the terminator storyline. i've been trying to make sense of that thing for like three decades and still can't do it. and here's a little something else for yall to ponder: two of my characters are named kyle and reese. i swear i didn't do that on purpose... or did i?

twenty-one. what is the most annoying question people ask you? how can you drive?

twenty-two. what's the best thing you got from your parents? their determination for and faith in me.

twenty-three. there are two types of people in this world. what are the two types? bricks and sponges. after a storm and the sun dries up the rain, bricks retain their shape and strength, but sponges have to be wrung out. bricks don't need anyone; sponges do. bricks don't have much compassion; sponges do.

twenty-four. to what fact are you resigned? that i will never be capable of loving a man, and one will never be capable of loving me, and i will die alone and despaired because of this.

twenty-five. what are three of the most significant numbers in your life? twelve, sixteen and seventeen.

random quarter

some of yall might know some of this already, but...

one. my name is jennifer kristin. jennifer: the cornish derivation of the welsh gwenhyfar (guinevere) (means white wave, by the way... which suits because the waters of my internal landscape are NEVER calm). kristin: after my uncle, frank christian. so guinevere, a queen with weak morals and weaker knees... and christ. which really kind of suits because i'm hugely contradictory. also, counting my last name, there are five i's in my name (even the e's sound like i's), which i've never liked...

two. because i'm an aries, the infant of the zodiac. the sign that's all about me... me... me. and my parents like to point out how everything's always about me at every available opportunity. you're the ones who put all the i's in my name, folks, and decided to have a baby in late, late march.

three. plus, i'm the middle child... and the only girl.

four. i've spent the majority of my forty-four years as a resident of the great state of texas. save for: six months in natchitoches, louisiana (second half of third grade); nine months in roswell, new mexico (fourth grade); eighteen months in nevada, missouri (freshman and sophomore years of college). it is a great state, but i am itching to get the hell out of dodge. my small town ain't so small anymore, which i hate. the world is too big. i wanna go go go...

five. but you have to have money to go go go... which means you have to have a job, and i'm having a really hard time finding one of those. i used to write for a newspaper. i don't want to do that anymore. i'm actually sick to death of the media, and my father's got it on. all. the. time. one lady said i could use her as a reference and then told the manager not to hire me. the manager told me this... so one of'm's not being honest. i'd really wanted that job, but now that i'm privy to this information, maybe it's good that i don't have it. it wasn't anything grand, just clerking in a store, but i liked how casual the place was, the friendly atmosphere, that it closed at six p.m. weekdays and all day sunday, so i could have my nights and half my weekend. it was the kind of job you could clock out and walk out of without responsibility following you...

six. so i could spend my nights writing... not the great american novel. i don't have such grand expectations for myself. i just want to write a good love story. it was written. i've completed the first half of the revision process, which means cutting out the crap. now i have to replace the words i erased with better ones... only i'm so stressed out about the fact that i can't find work that i can't find the words.

seven. i live with my parents. i'm trying not to be ashamed of saying that. it's so much more practical that i do. i'm not involved with anyone; i have no children; i have no job; they're in their seventies, and they travel every few months for a period of several weeks each time to colorado to see my mother's relatives, that uncle after whom i'm named and her other brother and the nephews and their wives and children...

eight. i'm in a critique group with three other writers. one of them calls me her rainbow rowell girl, which warms my heart and intimidates my brain. another told me yesterday she sees me as a more literary writer while she and the others are more commercial fiction... like she thinks i'm the best of us. most of the time, i feel like i'm the weakest one in the bunch, so it makes me really happy that they say these things.

nine. that i think that way surely has something to do with the bipolar disorder (a diagnosis i received from a shrink in my twenties) or the major depressive disorder (a diagnosis i received from a therapist last year) from which i suffer. i'm on meds now. for most of my adult life i had not been. i don't like needing them, but... if i skip a day, i can definitely tell that i've done so.

ten. hell, there are days that i take them, and i'm still not on my best behavior. i bitched at a postal clerk because she was being a cow... telling me she didn't have an attitude when clearly she did. i bitched at the customers in aldi because they were all are you in line? no. no i'm not. i'm not standing near the registers with my fucking basket full of bottled water (which i probably should've been drinking instead of snacking on snickers). i didn't say that, though. instead i snapped i am, but you go ahead. i did that FOUR fucking times.

eleven. i am NOT a nice person. really, i'm not. it bothers me that i'm not. so much so that i go out of my way to do nice things for others to make up for the fact that the thoughts in my head are hideous. and when i can't keep those thoughts from rushing out of my mouth... i always feel guilty afterward because i wasn't strong enough to stop them.

twelve. i cuss. a lot. it drives my parents nuts. one of my mother's friends told her she was friends with me on facebook. your daughter's funny, and she swears a lot.

thirteen. my mother says i've got the go to hell look patented. it probably doesn't help that my eyes are like slits (weak muscles due to a mild case of cerebral palsy and a trio of surgeries made'm that way) and, thanks to her mother and my father, have a tendency to appear to be black (they're dark brown with a bit of amber, but when i'm pissed, the amber disappears). it also doesn't help that i've got resting bitch face, and mine's better than most.

fourteen. this is because i've no patience. none. NONE. when i'm watching my younger brother's twins (they are now nine... holy fuck. that can't be right. EIGHT. they're eight. not that that's much better.), i don't do the waterworks. the moment tears roll's the moment time out starts. most of the time, it works; they rein it in pretty quick.

fifteen.  that mild case of cerebral palsy has resulted in six surgeries, thirty-some-odd scars, the mental imbalance and vision issues that can't be corrected. the last two contribute to sometimes severe social anxieties... which sometimes contributes to my not being as nice as i should. i'm like a cross between sheldon and bernadette on big bang theory... unless there's a hot man in the vicinity... then i'm one hundred percent raj. actually... i've been told i'm intimidating, so maybe i'm ninety-five percent raj and five percent sheldon. you know, like when he's looking at someone like that person's the most idiotic person in the world... that. it really, really sucks.

sixteen. i've an english degree. not so much because i wanted that degree but because i wanted to get the hell out of school (it took me five and a half years to graduate because i was indecisive as shit... and because i let others influence my choices too much as an adolescent and young adult) and english was the quickest way to get out. i really wish i had some focus, some interest in learning. i REALLY wish i'd taken a year off and worked six months as a server and six months as a retail whore. had i done that, you can bet your ass i would've done better in school.

seventeen. i graduated without ever having read dickens, dostoevsky, nabokov, either of the brontes or austen. amazing, ain't it? and then about fifteen years ago, i decided i'd take some undergrad english classes to see how i felt about going to graduate school so i could get my mfa and teach freshmen how to write, and one of my professors assigned dickens -- our mutual friend. i fell in love with it on the first day of class (victorian literature, which ended up being my favorite subject).

eighteen. least favorite subject was principles of accounting.

nineteen. favorite color is green.

twenty. favorite candy is smarties.

twenty-one. favorite food is chicken spaghetti.

twenty-two. coke. NEVER pepsi. that shit's N A S T Y.

twenty-three. i'd live in london if i could... in the summertime. in the winter, i'd be in fucking fiji or some place like it.

twenty-four. that said, my favorite place to be is here.

twenty-five. it's two minutes past ten p.m. texas time, and i'm yawning and wanting to hit the sack. LAME. where the hell did my youth go?

songs that start with the letter d: a not-so-random sample

one. dare you to move. switchfoot. learning to breathe.

two. deeper than the holler. randy travis. old eight by ten.

three. desperado. the eagles. desperado.

four. distant sun. crowded house. together alone.

five. divine. korn's self-titled album.

six. do what you have to do. sarah mclachlan. surfacing.

seven. does this mean you're moving on? the airborne toxic event's self-titled album. 

eight. don't speak. no doubt. tragic kingdom.

nine. don't tell me (what love can do). van halen. balance.

ten. don't you (forget about me). simple minds. the breakfast club soundtrack.

eleven. double agent. rush. counterparts

twelve. doughnut song. tori amos. boys for pele.

thirteen. down. stone temple pilots. number four.

fourteen. down on my knees. trisha yearwood. hearts in armor.

fifteen. down with the sickness. disturbed. the sickness. 

sixteen. dr. feelgood. motley crue. dr. feelgood.

seventeen. draining. silversun pickups. swoon.

eighteen. the dream is over. van halen. for unlawful carnal knowledge.

nineteen. dream on. aerosmith's self-titled album.

twenty. dreams. the cranberries. everybody else is doing it, so why can't we?

twenty-one. dreams. van halen. fifty-one fifty.

twenty-two. drops of jupiter. train. drops of jupiter.

twenty-three. duck and run. three doors down. the better life.

twenty-four. duet. the airborne toxic event. all i ever wanted: live from walt disney concert hall.

twenty-five. dumb. garbage. version two.

random quarter

one. so the first thing i do when making these posts is type out the one through twenty-five bit because if i do it that way, then i don't have to do control b as much. then i go back and type the things. today, i got so caught up in typing the numbers that i was on twenty-seven when i realized i could stop.

two. this the fifty-first rq post. actually, i'm sure there've been more than that, but i went through and killed about seven hundred posts last year, and some of those were probably rq's from way back when. picky's been around for more than a decade, yall. i can't keep everything. i can guarantee you i wrote more than two posts in two thousand eight, and there's nothing from five, six or seven. so yeah. there were probably more like sixty or seventy of these. whatever. the first rq post was composed on april twenty-fourth, six years ago. the one with the most page views is this one (one thousand, two hundred sixteen); the one with the fewest is that one (thirty). in the former, all of that is still true, save for number four because i can't fix phineas. he bought it two years ago this month. i'm still sad about that.

three. i am about to make the third call today to the cable company because i can't watch my recorded shows and do netflix and all that jazz... i am unthrilled. mostly because they ask for the best phone number at which to call you should they get disconnected, but they don't call you back when the call's broken, so you have to repeat the same complaints AGAIN. the third one, though was successful, thank god. something's busted in a box. imagine that. and they may be out today to fix it. maybe.

four. i have watched sixteen of the twenty-five films i'd chosen for this year's film challenge. i can't say for sure, but i think that's the greatest number of films i've seen by midpoint. i'm kind of proud of myself. i've never finished my own damned challenge. mayhaps i'll do it this year!

five. and then there's erin's book challenge. i've read FIVE books, which IS the most i've ever read of my selections for one of her challenges. the thing's over in two weeks. i might get one more in. maybe two. but ain't no way i'm finishing that one. sorry, lady. there's always the next one...

six. the aggies have won six games. they are undefeated. they are ranked sixth. it is a beautiful thing. that said... the first half of their season's a cakewalk compared to the back half. bama's next. as in next weekend. at bama. we've beaten them there before. maybe we could do it again. that sure would be nice. then we could be eight and oh because the next team is like new mexico state or something... aggies vs. aggies. there can be only one, dammit. and ours have a ninety-nine point five percent chance of victory. the bama game, though... the chance of success there is MUCH smaller. something like twenty-nine point three percent.

seven. so something really weird happened with picky this year. i can't figure out it happened. of the posts that survived the great culling, the one that's had the fewest views is called hate hates hating. i'm kind of glad i'm doing this rq post today, that i'm checking out the page views and whatnot because it made me revisit that particular post. and in light of the one i'd written the other day... i'm really glad i looked at this one again because it reminded me that that's how i need to pray. after giving thanks and asking for help for my friends... the simple request in that post is good enough. not that i've not made the request since. not that i'd forgotten writing that post or coming to that realization... but i forget a prayer doesn't have to be fancy. it doesn't have to be specific. it can be as simple as the italicized words i'd written then.

anyway... the weird thing... i culled a few more posts a month ago, so there are a little less than five hundred picky posts now. if you break'm down into hundreds...

the last batch (june to june, two thousand eight to ten):

eight posts have fewer than ten views;

sixty-one have between ten and ninety-nine; 

eighteen have greater than one hundred

the numbers for the next three hundred posts are fairly similar. the first batch, though...

the most recent one (may of fifteen to now):

twenty three posts have fewer than one hundred views; 

sixty have between one hundred and a thousand; 

sixteen have more than a thousand

SIXTEEN. in the other four hundred, there've been only two that have amassed that many: n is for neapolitan (one thousand one hundred twenty-three) and that rq post mentioned earlier. i can't figure out what i did to incur the spike cause i'm pretty sure i'm not writing about anything differently.

of course now the numbers are settling back to normal. maybe it was just this fluke thing. it's just that i never figured any post of mine would get that much attention. and i get it. there are bloggers out there who have posts that get hundreds and hundreds of views on a regular basis. so i probably sound silly talking about this...

eight. am watching the way, way back for probably the thirtieth time. i am not a sam rockwell fan, but there is no one who could do the character owen better justice than that dude. my older brother was kind of like owen. maybe that's why i like this movie so much. i say kind of because my brother was pretty damned particular about how he dressed, but for the most part... i can see my brother doing a lot of things owen does in this film. i miss my bubba.

nine. i can't stand steve carell. nothing makes me loathe him more than his character trent. the guys i meet, they're like trent. i'd really rather find one like owen. and i know, considering i'd just said he reminds me of my brother, that sounds weird, but... the guys in my family are pretty awesome. sue me for wanting someone like them.

ten. i had all these shows and films saved to the dvr. like an episode of a football life that focuses on steve gleason's interest and effort in climbing machu picchu. it was a damned good episode. it's gone now because the cable guy had to replace all our damned boxes. so... no more shows. i had to go through and reset all the shit. bah.

eleven. my mom makes baby cupcakes out of yellow cake and cinnamon and sugar. it only took me three tries but i've managed to nail that shit. there's like a science. you have to tweak the recipe a bit, beat it differently than what it says on the box, bake'm for just the right time (NOT the eighteen minutes it says to do on the box), mix just the right amount of cinnamon with sugar and soak'm in just the right amount of butter then the cinnamon stuff. the first batch? not so good. the last batch? badass.

twelve. i've told yall before it takes me hours to write these posts. that's because sometimes i'm like... what. the. fuck. i'm only on number twelve??

thirteen. i hate job hunting. i hate how small i feel. that i try for the jobs that interest me and end up working in retail. i really don't want to work retail EVER AGAIN but it's looking like that's about to happen.

fourteen. and then i hate hating on retail because it's honest work, hard work. and who am i to belittle that? it's just that i don't want my work to be just a job. and that's how i see retail. it's just a job. and a i'm just a girl. working a just job makes me feel more like a just girl. and i really don't wanna feel like that.

fifteen. i have kept my room clean for a whole three days! i swear to god this is a record.

sixteen. my bank account's had less than twenty bucks in it for two weeks. i'm pretty sure that's a record, too.

seventeen.  i've been having trouble sleeping. it took a clonazepam, two unisoms and watching the actors' commentary of the first half of the director's cut of fellowship of the ring to get me to sleep last night. i dozed pretty much all night. i know this because at some point, i had to start the thing over.

eighteen. baseball doesn't interest me so much. until i'm sitting at republic grille (filling out a job application) and watching the cleveland indians beat the boston red sox. yeah. YEAH. the INDIANS. that team that was featured in major league beating that team that was featured in fever pitch. that got my attention. because how in the hell did that happen? and then one of the servers is saying some shit about how the series could come down to the indians and the chicago cubs. THE CHICAGO CUBS. i feel like shit's horribly off its axis.

nineteen. six more things... i'm over flo the progressive gal commercials. those need to end. so do the ones for sites like match and eharmony. and credit cards. and the goddamned lincoln ads with matthew mcconaughey.

twenty. i want to take a road trip across the low-lying lands of louisiana. i lived in that state when i was nine. for like six months. it sucked. i can only blame the interest in going back there on the fact that i watched deepwater horizon the other day, and i liked how the land is spotted along the coast in places. kind of like it is in north carolina. i've not really taken a road trip in about a year... since north carolina. maybe i'm in need of another. after i get a job, of course... and when i manage to get some time off. funny how i have the time now, but not the funds. and when i have the funds, i don't have the time.

twenty-one. that movie, by the way... of those mentioned in this post, that's one yall definitely need to see. ain't no excuse for you not to.

twenty-three. that first movie mentioned has finished. now i'm watching the reboot of macgyver. well, the fourth episode. because i lost the first three before i could watch them (because i wasn't that excited about this particular program, so i was saving them for when there was absolutely nothing else to watch), and while the cable guy could fix the cable, video on demand shit's busted. but apparently that's busted for a bunch of people. i grew up with richard whatshisface playing mac. it feels weird to me to see this other dude playing the part. it feels weird to see henry winkler listed as an executive producer, too. that's the fonz, yall. i grew up watching him slicking his hair and snapping his fingers. this shit makes me feel REALLY OLD. anyway, this show? not so impressive. i can't see it lasting a season.

twenty-four. i watched deadpool (one of the many things i had saved that is now GONE, dammit, because the more i think about that movie, the more i like it) the other day. there's some damned fine dialogue in that flick.

twenty-five. i wanna be scrawny again. i also wanna eat like three bowls of honeycomb. guess which one's more likely to happen?

random quarter

one. so...we're back to the true spirit of these posts because i've used up all the prompts from that question and answer book. you're thrilled, i'm sure.

two. the houston cougars defeat of the oklahoma sooners might be the most impressive football game i'll see this month. BECAUSE THIS:

three. NEVER DOUBT THE POWER OF THE TWELFTH MAN. BECAUSE THIS:

Here it is: Texas A&M student section chanting "Fifty thousand!" after another Rosen 3rd down incompletion pic.twitter.com/Xw2Kt6HSFF

— Sean Lester (@s_lester14) September 3, 2016

i love how big it gets. it starts out kind of small, and then it resonates so well throughout the stadium that there's a GLORIOUS echo. good stuff.

AND THIS:

 

rosen. what a dumbfuck. here's a tip, all you quarterbacks out there, don't say shit like after fifty thousand it doesn't make a difference. because CLEARLY in kyle field, IT DOES.

four. i've said it before. i'm going to say it again. i hate html code.

five. the irish are playing the longhorns tonight. should be fun. I. AM. STOKED. GO IRISH. BEAT texas.

Game day 🍀🍀🍀🍀 #BeatTexas pic.twitter.com/L8MTsioTVt

— James Riley Barron (@JRiley_81) September 4, 2016

six. i have spent the past few weeks poring over my manuscript. yes, some of it is crap. i spent about nine hours cutting out the majority of that crap on monday of this past week so there are GAPING, HIDEOUS holes in the thing. but the absence of that crap has made me better appreciate the good. so i'm feeling pretty good about the thing, which hasn't been the case for quite some time. that feeling, paired with this compliment and two others i've received this month from fellow writers (one said something about how my writing reminded her of rainbow rowell's, one of my favorite authors; another said she was crushing on one of my characters, reese. as she should. he's a pretty awesome guy) has me clinging, maybe a little too desperately, to the notion that this story of mine is good and worthy. that i CAN finish polishing it. that people WILL love it.

seven. the woman to whom my brother was previously married has remarried and relocated to mississippi. for the past year, i have had to listen to my nephew tell me he likes mississippi state better than a&m. because that's the team his stepfather likes. i. am. dying.

MISSISSIPPI STATE. FUCK. NO. that child will NOT be going there. he will not root for the blasted bulldogs. if that boy HAS to like a team from mississippi it's going to be ole miss. but by god, the aggies will prevail. i will see to it. if i have to mail him aggie paraphernalia EVERY WEEK, then so be it. MISSISSIPPI STATE. that's the WRONG GODDAMNED SHADE OF MAROON, BOY. there can be only one.

eight. yesterday, i spent the entire day in my pajamas. i've spent the majority of this one in them. it is almost three p.m. (or at least it was when i wrote this particular entry) texas time. i should probably get dressed. i did take a shower. i am clean. i'm just slovenly. depressed? nah. why would i be depressed? i'm unemployed and living with my parents. and the boys... 

nine. one of them stopped talking to me because i wouldn't send him a picture of my naked breasts. i'm not sad about this. i'm actually damned glad that he revealed his dickishness so well and so soon. there's not much i like about my body. but... i've a pretty good rack. so i've heard, anyway. i know... you're loving this bit. the point is... it's good. boys? i'm not going to show it to you just because you've asked to see it. i'm gonna be like amy schumer. you can holler show me your tits in the parking lot. as i'm driving away from your dumb ass.

and boys? PLEASE. STOP sending us shit like dick picks. that thing dangling between your legs... ain't NOTHING pretty about that. generally as a rule, that's a SUREFIRE way to get us to LOATHE you.

ten. another boy... this one had been badgering me for a good while to give him the time of day. not in some scary way. just... every few months, he'd shoot me an email. after the third one, i was like... you know what? he might be nice. you should maybe give him a better look. so i asked him what it was about me that inspired his persistence...

and i get this shit in reply: oh gawd. forget it. i'd rather go park my car on a train track than deal with your egotistical narcissism.

yeah. okay. you go do that.

eleven. i'd wash my hands of men completely, except i see things like anthony mason interviewing rory feek about the loss of his wife. and i cry.

twelve. and then i wish that i could be as good, as sweet, as kind as joey. and i've to remind myself that i am those things... just differently.

thirteen. there are so many ways i could be better, though. i just don't have the heart to bother with any of them. some of them are so simple, like bagging up all the clothes i don't wear and donating them so that someone else who needs them more than me might be able to. like walking. i used to take walks every day when i was younger; i'd make up stories or listen to music or just look at the world around me. i don't do that anymore.

fourteen. the fall film challenge started THREE DAYS AGO, and someone's already seen TEN FLICKS. i am impressed. i have yet to watch one. 

fifteen. portishead's roads is a beautiful song. if i ever finish fucking with this damned novel of mine and yall buy it and read it, the tune isabel's listening to in the first chapter? it's that one. actually that whole album, called dummy, is pretty badass. you should download it. now.

sixteen. i'm so old school with music, yall, that i had to correct cd to album in the previous entry.

seventeen. once upon a time i had about seven hundred cds. then i got my heart broken and quit my job and my brother died, and i did things like hock eighty percent of my collection. because who needs music in their lives? stupid. girl.

eighteen. i started this post at about half past two. it's now nearing four. just so you know... i invest in these here posts. probably much more time than i should. also... i'm still in my jammies.

nineteen. i've gotten a manicure and pedicure twice in the past month. that's double the number of times i've gotten such things in the past year. my hands are prettier when the nails are polished, though. i can see why girls make a habit of this. but man... the time it takes to get this shit done. ugh.

twenty. i think i'm kind of burned out on dr. pepper, which feels almost blasphemous.

twenty-one. i know i'm burned out on life, which also feels almost blasphemous.

twenty-two. i think balloon releases are stupid. why do people do them? because sending a balloon up in the air isn't going to make me feel any better about the fact that my brother no longer inhabits this earth or that my other brother's children now reside two states away. for those of you unfamiliar with the breadth of the state of texas, it takes the better part, if not all, of a day to get out of it. those children are like my own. my heart is sick, i tell you. letting go of a piece of rubber filled with gas and a string tied around it isn't going to make that sickness and sadness any better.

twenty-three. football, though. that will.

twenty-four. the other day i bought harry potter trivial pursuit. and yall, it is HARD.

twenty-five. i'm gonna go get dressed now. because the irish are playing in two hours. i have to get my green on. :]

random quarter: the q&a edition-june

one. today you cancelled a date with a douchebag.

two. what was the last beach you went to? myrtle beach, south carolina.

three. my nephew is funny.

four. what's the next book you want to read? after you by jojo moyes.

five. what do you have to lose? not much.

six. today was delightful because of lunch with cameron.

seven. when was the last time you spoke to your parents? this morning.

eight. are you wearing socks? no.

nine. how can you help? writing to raise awareness.

ten. what do you need to throw away? the trash in my car.

eleven. does anything hurt today? yes.

twelve. who was the last person to make you angry? myself.

thirteen. where do you go for good ideas? the movies.

fourteen. are you working hard or hardly working? at the moment? hardly working.

fifteen. what was the last road trip you took? north carolina in november 'fifteen.

sixteen. nothing is perfect.

seventeen. what was the last thing you baked or cooked? i boiled lipton noodles.

eighteen. if you could hire any artist (living or dead) to paint your portrait, who would you pick? vincent van gogh.

nineteen. write a phrase to describe your year so far. exhausting.

twenty. today were you a wallflower or social butterfly? wallflower. always the wallflower.

twenty-one. do you have a secret? more than one? who doesn't?

twenty-two. what is your heroic downfall? your achilles heel? my brain.

twenty-three. today was unusual because i had lunch with someone.

twenty-four. if you were a literary character who would you be? mary bennett.

twenty-five. what are you sentimental about? st. patrick's day.

songs that star with the letter a: a not-so-random sample

one. acrobat. u2. achtung baby.

two. against all odds (take a look at me now). phil collins. against all odds: music from the motion picture.

three. ain't talkin bout love. van halen. van halen.

four. alive and kicking. simple minds. once upon a time.

five. all fired up. pat benatar. wide awake in dreamland.

six. all i want. toad the wet sprocket. fear.

seven. all i want is you. u2. rattle and hum.

eight. all of me. john legend. love in the future.

nine. almost lover. a fine frenzy. one cell in the sea.
ten. already gone. the eagles. on the border.

eleven. am i missing. dashboard confessional. a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar.

twelve. amazed. poe. haunted.

thirteen. angel. aerosmith. permanent vacation.

fourteen. angel. sarah mclachlan. surfacing.

fifteen. angels losing sleep. our lady peace. healthy in paranoid times.
sixteen. angels of the silences. counting crows. recovering the satellites.

seventeen. animal. def leppard. hysteria. 

eighteen. anna begins. counting crows. august and everything after.

nineteen. anna molly. incubus. light grenades.

twenty. anymore. travis tritt. it's all about to change.
twenty-one. anyway. martina mcbride. waking up laughing.

twenty-two. are you gonna be my girl. jet. get born.

twenty-three. armageddon it. def leppard. hysteria.

twenty-four. ashes and wine. a fine frenzy. one cell in the sea.

twenty-five. away from the sun. three doors down. away from the sun.

random quarter: the q&a edition-may

one. what's something you couldn't do today? deny myself the hershey's chocolate.

two. what's your biggest expense right now? the gilmore painting i bought.

three. when did you last hold a baby? couple of years ago.

four. today you made five articles for print.

five. what should remain as is? huntsville, utah.

six. what time did you go to bed last night? eleven p.m.

seven. who is your hero? my parents, brother and friends.

eight. what topic are you bored talking about? presidential candidates.

nine. did you leave work on time? nope.

ten. waking up was hard to do.

eleven. which friends did you last speak to? my brother, jacqueline and missy.

twelve. when was the last time you checked an online social network? right before writing this post.

thirteen. what do you have to get done? clean my room.

fourteen. what was the last risk you took? talking with missy.

fifteen. what five words describe your mood? encouraged, hopeful, anxious, exhausted, appreciative.

sixteen. today you almost got rear-ended. stupid cow.

seventeen. where do you find pleasure? good company, countryside or story.

eighteen. is there anything missing in your life? my brother.

nineteen. what song could be your self-portrait? dave matthews' rhyme and reason.

twenty. what is your dream job of the day? writer... but my own boss.

twenty-one. what are your favorite shoes? brown sanuk flip-flops.

twenty-two. what are you trying to do? figure which questions to use.

twenty-three. what is your favorite brunch food? poached egg and toast.

twenty-four. how much water did you drink today? about a hundred ounces.

twenty-five. what three words describe your family? down by one.

random quarter: the q&a edition-april

one. what are you a geek about? film.

two. what do you crave? at present? fried shrimp.

three. what was the last bad movie you watched? how to be single.

four. in three words describe your love life? pathetic. nonexistent. disappointing.

five. what question makes you anxious? why isn't this finished yet?

six. you have no patience for explaining technology to my parents.

seven. what expression do you overuse? you know what i mean?

eight. how much time do you spend commuting? thirty minutes total.

nine. you woke up at nine a.m.

ten. what was your last credit card purchase? nyquil and dr. pepper.

eleven. camping or hotel? hotel.

twelve. are you able to tell when you've had enough? yep.

thirteen. do you have any new friends? yep.

fourteen. are you happy with your choices today? meh.

fifteen. what is your biggest dream? the twins' happiness and well-being.

sixteen. you want new denim comforter.

seventeen. write down the name of someone you had a good conversation with recently. greg davis.

eighteen. what makes you feel wonderful? a good night's sleep.

nineteen. one word for today? catch-up.

twenty. what's the most valuable thing you own? antique icebox my great-uncle restored.

twenty-one. what famous living person would you want to meet for drinks? ricky gervais.

twenty-two. who do you count on? you mean whom. my parents.

twenty-three. who is the last call in your missed call list? my parents.

twenty-four. what's the most honest thing you've said today? she's a bitch. :]

twenty-five. how do you feel about your body? meh.

random quarter: the q&a edition-march

i haven't done one of these in seven months. my friend tina, god rest her soul, she did love these posts. (i think she liked'm better when i was rambling, and i'll get back to that... eventually.) she would've missed them. she would've been so glad to be reading one today. i'm kind of glad to be writing one. (also i'm procrastinating mucking out my room for a w-two or transcribing notes from a recorded interview.)

so... in case yall need the reminder... the questions are from a book, q and a a day: three hundred sixty-five questions, five years, eighteen hundred twenty-five answers.the following questions are from, ahem, september. i've put a limit on the responses to five words or less.

one. teacher or student. student.

two. is your home/apartment clean? home? yes. room/car? no.

three. where have you found evidence of a higher power? everywhere. seek. ye shall find.

four. what was the last online video clip you watched? sad ben affleck video.

five. what's the newest thing you're wearing today? reading glasses.

six. who are you jealous of? strong, beautiful, affable, funny women.

seven. what comes to mind when you think of fear? drowning in rapids.

eight. what advice would you give to a second-grader? do your homework.

nine. who can help you? myself, if i let me.

ten. who are the most important people in your life? mom, dad, joph, bambam, shazam.

eleven. what would you want to study at school? photography or film.

twelve. what's your favorite snack food? hershey's milk chocolate with/out almonds.

thirteen. a decision you made today? choosing this post over responsibility.

fourteen. when was the last time you went dancing? summer cruise. eighteen years ago.

fifteen. do you plan, or are you flying by the seat of your pants? flying. planning frustrates and disappoints.

sixteen. do you handle rejection well? no.

seventeen. how hungry are you right now? not. need dr. pepper, though.

eighteen. bad news: sugar-coated or straight up? straight up.

nineteen. how do you get out of a rut? slowly.

twenty. where do you see yourself in five years? same place. different job, maybe.

twenty-one. this is utterly confounding: men. always and forever.

twenty-two. what's your favorite television show? west wing. always and forever.

twenty-three. write down a quote for today. be gentle with yourself (ehrmann).

twenty-four. write down a chronic but minor problem. depression. minor? compared to others'.

twenty-five. where do you think your road is going? heaven, i hope.

random quarter: the q&a edition-august

one. do you need a cold shower? no.

two. describe the room you're in right now. office. gray walls and carpet.

three. what do you lie about? lots of things. hello? writer.

four. when was the last time you were on an airplane? july sixth of this year.

five. today you destroyed a box of club minis.

six. who are you? a modern-day miss brill.

seven. what was your last great meal? babin's halibut with lump crab.

eight. write down your last sent text message. you're pretty wonderful, as well.

nine. what are you running from at this moment? wellness.

ten. how many stamps are on your passport? no clue.

eleven. what is your resolution for tomorrow? get through the day.

twelve. what is your favorite thing to do on a saturday morning? sleep.

thirteen. what do you like best about your body today? the freckle on my heel.

fourteen. my body and my brain really bothered me today.

fifteen. in a hundred forty characters or fewer summarize your day. work, errands, shower, play, sleep.

sixteen. what can't you forget? all the ways i've failed.

seventeen. what would you like to tell your father? shouldn't be proud of me.

eighteen. what's the best part of your life right now? job. nights and weekends off.

nineteen. what did have for dinner? six chic-fil-a nuggets and water.

twenty. do you make enough money? yep.

twenty-one. did you complete your to-do list for the day? didn't have one... so, yes?

twenty-two. what question (or questions) do you love to answer? the ones in this book.

twenty-three. what's your favorite piece of clothing? this shirt.

twenty-four. write your recipe for creativity. pour madness into bowl. stir.

twenty-five. when was the last time you worked out? no clue.

random quarter: the q&a edition-july

one. should you trusts your instincts? nope.

two. who do you miss the most right now? minn.

three. today you wore maroon, striped polo, jeans, flip-flops.

four. what was the last fruit you ate? honeydew melon.

five. what do you feel most grateful for today? watching sunset at lake woodlands.

six. how many cups of coffee did you drink today? none.

seven. did you exercise today? nope.

eight. the best hour of was sunset. why? because it's summer in texas.

nine. what was the last personal letter you received? thank you note from natalie.

ten. what's the last movie you saw in a theater? trainwreck.

eleven. when was the last time you cried? today.

twelve. what was the last beach you went to? coligny beach at hilton head.

thirteen. are you wearing socks? nope.

fourteen. what was the last road trip you took? austin in november.

fifteen. today were you a wallflower or a social butterfly? wallflower.

sixteen. on a scale of one to ten, how healthy are you? three.

seventeen. what makes you miserable? lack of faith, i suppose.

eighteen. what makes a good friend? consideration.

nineteen. what is your favorite thing to do on a friday night? watch movies.

twenty. is something in your way? yes. can you move it? no.

twenty-one. something that made you worry today? the wonder twins.

twenty-two. what's your favorite gadget? my mac.

twenty-three. what makes you cynical? life.

twenty-four. what's the last meal someone cooked for you? chicken, beans, potatoes and melon.

twenty-five. when's the last time you had pizza? last saturday. what kind? california pizza kitchen's blt.

random quarter: the q&a edition--may

one. messy or neat? messy.

two. are you hesitating? i guess.

three. if you could have a superpower just for today, what would it be? ability to read people's minds.

four. when was the last time you went swimming? last summer.

five. today was hilarious because of sarah and adam.

six. what was the last party you went to? mae's baby shower.

seven. who would play you in a movie about your life? is it a good movie? hilary swank. i don't know.

eight. who do you think is cute? lots of people.

nine. what do you want to postpone? nothing.

ten. how did you start your day? playing texas hold'm poker online.

eleven. how do you want to be remembered? as a good writer.

twelve. what are you exploring? nothing.

thirteen. what do you consider to be your biggest achievement? living despite this shit.

fourteen. what was your favorite day this week? monday.

fifteen. what's the most creative thing you've done recently? written some newspaper articles.

sixteen. if you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go? roadtrip across the south.

seventeen. list the things that nagged you today? shyness, fear and my mouth.

eighteen. what gives you comfort right now? baker street.

nineteen. what's the best thing you've read today? something i wrote.

twenty. if you didn't have any responsibilities for the day what would you do? hang at baker's and blog.

twenty-one. who loves you today? my family.

twenty-two. what makes a good enemy? hatred and fear.

twenty-three. today you got rid of money because i ate out.

twenty-four. when was the last time you had an inspiring conversation? i don't remember.

twenty-five. how much cash do you have in your wallet? three dollars.

random quarter: the q&a edition-april

one. who are you fooling? no one, now.

two. who do you feel closest to? melissa. 

three. if you could wish for one thing to happen today, what would it be? seven blogiversary bash guest posts.

four. what was the last take-out meal you ordered? whataburger, small coke, onion rings.

five. what colors are you wearing? blue and brown.

six. what is your secret passion? don't feel passionate about anything.

seven. where do you feel most at home? dad's office at mom's desk.

eight. a chore you ignored today? cleaning my room. 

nine. did you have fun today? because? yes. hung out at baker's.

ten. switchfoot's dare you to move was inspiring.

eleven. what is your favorite thing to do on a sunday morning? breakfast at black walnut.

twelve. if you could acquire a talent (without any extra effort), what would it be? affability.

thirteen. what celebrity would you want to interview? ellen degeneres.

fourteen. what do you think is your biggest shortcoming? can't be what people want.

fifteen. write down a problem you solved today. figured out what to do.

sixteen. what famous person would you bring back from the dead to have dinner with? hunter s. thompson.

seventeen. how many times did you curse today? no clue.

eighteen. what do you want to say when someone asks "what do you do?" write.

nineteen. you wish you could stop stupid choices i make from happening.

twenty. how would your parents describe you? funny, cute, quirky and smart.

twenty-one. is life fair? yes? no? sometimes? not today? no. ain't supposed to be.

twenty-two. who do you need to call? ghostbusters.

twenty-three. how much spare change do you have? on me right now? none.

twenty-four. what type of person are you? awkward.

twenty-five. what are three words to describe your social life? forced, bumbled exchanges.

random quarter: the q&a edition - march

one. salty or sweet? salty.

two. did you sleep alone last night? yes.

three. what's your favorite word (right now)? fuck. always and forever.

four. who's your nemesis? myself.

five. it's not a good idea to experiment with people's feelings.

six. what's the last song you listened to? new york state of mind.

seven. what is the last movie you rented? the hundred foot journey. (maybe?)

eight. what was something you wanted today but couldn't have? being held by a man.

nine. where do you live? conroe, texas.

ten. if you could add one hour to your day, what would you do with it? sleep.

eleven. what is true? i'm still in my pajamas.

twelve. what do you not want to talk about? sex.

thirteen. what do you want to buy? a beach vacation.

fourteen. what new activity have you tried? i haven't.

fifteen. in three words describe your spirituality. catholicism, astrology, mythology.

sixteen. what was the last book you read? fangirl.

seventeen. the first thing i ate today was club minis and coca-cola.

eighteen. jot down a news story from today. netanyahu bad deal on iran.

nineteen. are you country or rock'n'roll (or hip-hop, emo, folk punk... )? rock'n'roll.

twenty. adam, blake and pharrell made me laugh.

twenty-one. who do you aspire to be like? no one, lately.

twenty-two. when was the last time you felt like you were on top of the world? october third.

twenty-three. pick a color for today. gray.

twenty-four. what inventions can you not live without? music, stories, television and internet.

twenty-five. how could today have been better? more gumption. more clarity.

random quarter: the q&a edition - february

one. who do you live with: my parents.

two. on a scale of one to ten, how sad are you? why? two. because i went shopping.

three. outside the weather is getting much better.

four. what are you obsessively listening to? simple mind's alive and kicking.

five. are you seeking contentment or excitement? both?

six. what are three things you have to buy? perfume, mouthwash, gasoline.

seven. are you in love? not at the moment, but...

eight. how late did you sleep? eight a.m.

nine. if this day were an animal, what would it be? a kitten.

ten. how did you get to work today? i didn't.

eleven. what is your biggest obstacle right now? a lack of willpower.

twelve. did you kiss someone today? platonically? my niece. romantically? no.

thirteen. what was the last performance or concert you went to? into the woods.

fourteen. if you could change something about today, what would it be? would've found jeans that fit.

fifteen. what's the most expensive thing you're wearing right now? my bra.

sixteen. what word did you overuse today? fuck.

seventeen. what was your prevailing emotion of the day? happiness.

eighteen. today you've got too much fat on this body.

nineteen. what's the last dream you remember? jack tattoo on my hand.

twenty. when was the last time you were sick? a few weeks ago.

twenty-one. what is your resolution for tomorrow? not getting a speeding ticket.

twenty-two. what is your favorite question to ask people? what's your favorite movie?

twenty-three. write down the cure for a broken heart. booze and time.

twenty-four. who is the craziest person in your life? me.

twenty-five. what is the most embarrassing purchase on a recent credit card statement? the outfield downloads from itunes.

random quarter: the q&a edition - january

one. can people change? no.

two. what are you reading right now? me before you - jojo moyes.

three. the best part of today? watching last sunday's packers' game.

four. what was the last restaurant you went to? fielding's.

five. today was tough because brother's children drove me nuts.

six. today you lost patience. several times.

seven. what's your favorite accessory? london blue topaz ring.

eight. where do you want to travel next? drive up california's coast.

nine. are you a leader or a follower? follower.

ten. one a scale of one to ten, how was your lunch today? six.

eleven. do you owe someone some money? yes. does someone owe you? no.

twelve. what was peaceful about today? watching football.

thirteen. list three foods you ate today? cake, turkey sandwich, chocolate milkshake.

fourteen. are you holding a grudge? yes. about? my brother disrespecting my space.

fifteen. what are you looking forward to? a day with no responsibilities.

sixteen. are you seeking security or adventure? adventure.

seventeen. do you need a break? yes. from what? life in general.

eighteen. today you needed more rest, cooperation, cleanliness, patience, kindness.

nineteen. which art movement best describes you today? abstract expressionism.

twenty. how do you describe home? tempestuous.

twenty-one. what was the last television show you watched? nfl football - sunday, december twenty-eighth.

twenty-two. what do you want to forget? a boy.

twenty-three. who do you want to be? better.

twenty-four. what is your mission? self-sufficiency.

twenty-five. was today typical? yes. why or why not? it's equally good and bad.