things i wish would die

January 17, 2018

so i used to work at pottery barn kids, and the chevron print was all over everything: chevron curtains; chevron fitted crib sheets; chevron rugs; chevron blankets; chevron canvas storage; chevron diaper bags. it got to be that i loathed those stripes, that word. it got to be that i don't even like to buy gas at chevron stations. it was so prevalent in our store that associates and even customers would utter i wish the chevron trend would die.

i wish partisan politics would die. i wish people who run for office, who seek to serve this country would SERVE this country, the people they represent. NOT their party, their lobbyists, their campaign contributors. THEIR PEOPLE. 

this afternoon senators and representatives gathered to present the congressional gold medal to senator robert dole. i listened as they lauded his service and sacrifices. i watched chuck schumer gab with nancy pelosi about god knows what during those speeches. i watched as paul ryan sat there looking bored out of his mind, as mitch mcconell sat there looking a hell of a lot like a shell. i listened as schumer spent half his speech talking about how dole had once joked about the space between chuck and the camera, as pelosi insisted people applaud during parts of her speech. all paul ryan did was introduce dole... as if he couldn't put a half dozen sentences of praise together. these people, they're commending this senator for his ability to cross party lines and get shit done. i couldn't help but think they're all a bunch of hypocritical asshats. we're facing yet another government shutdown because they'll be damned if they budge an inch.

i wish to god our congress would have that same ability. i wish they'd hold more regard for their constituents than their campaign hopes and promises. it's bullshit. all of it. there's not one good seed in the bunch right now. not. one.

i wish people would stop, please god STOP comparing the president of the united states of america to fucking HITLER. the two are NOTHING alike, jackasses. NOTHING. it's incendiary and revolting, and goddamn, there are still survivors of the holocaust on this earth and those we have lost have loved ones. it's an insult to what they've endured. it's disgusting and deplorable and childish and just. FUCKING. STOP. NOW. please. you don't have to like trump. i didn't like president obama, but i would NEVER dare to call him anything so vile as that, not anything that comes anywhere close to that. EVER. he's the PRESIDENT, for christ's sake. he was elected to that office. maybe not by you, but by somebody. and don't you dare come at me with those who voted for him are FASCISTS. they're human beings. they're AMERICAN CITIZENS. they've reasons for their choices, and by god they don't have to defend them to you. 

i wish people would stop insisting their way's best and everyone else's is wrong. that they would stop being such insensitive fucking assholes, stop losing their shit over petty things, stop being bitches to each other.

i've seen this pinned on people's twitter feeds with comments on how it's the best thing ever. 

no. NO, it's not. i can name about a million things that are better than this trash.

spouting opinions about how vile our president is MAKES YOU LOOK JUST AS VILE. the ones who appreciate that gif? they're hulk in that scenario. of all the avengers, he's my least favorite. why? because his anger gets the better of him ALL THE TIME. that's not brute strength. that's rage. that's how bruce banner becomes the hulk. he gets SO pissed off that he can't control himself, and then he breaks shit. smashes it to bits. is that the kind of person you want to be?

i know how powerful rage is. i struggle to contain it on a daily basis. most days i can. other days are like this. and i'm embarrassed by my behavior on those days.

barack obama was granted eight years to serve as president of these united states. he believed he could offer something of value. he said and did what he could to provide the american people what he thought was best.

for better or worse, donald trump has been given the opportunity to serve. maybe you didn't vote for him. maybe you did. either way, it's okay. if hillary clinton had been given the opportunity, i'd feel the same. these were our choices in the end. these were the candidates for president. this is how our democratic republic works. one winner, one loser.

i'd written those words days after the election. i felt like saying them again. i wish all this hatred and animosity would die.

twelve things to celebrate in january

January 1, 2018

one. january fourth. willy wonka's trademark was registered in nineteen seventy-two. find a theater showing the film and watch it on the big screen. also find a golden ticket and give that and your favorite willy wonka candy to the box office cashier.

two. january fifth. home of the whopper was trademark registered in nineteen sixty-five. find the oldest burger king restaurant in your neck of the woods and treat yourself to a whopper meal without modifying the order (like i always do... unless you have food allergies, of course).

three. january ninth. campbell's soup's trademark was registered in nineteen six. find your local food bank and deliver nineteen dollars worth of campbell's soups to them.

four. january thirteenth. mickey mouse cartoon first appeared in newspapers throughout the united states in nineteen thirty. visit your local library and find a copy of that cartoon.

five. january sixteenth. jim henson's copyright claim on kermit the muppet was renewed in nineteen eighty-four. find and view the muppets take manhattan, released that year.

six. january eighteenth. lerner and lowe's musical motion picture my fair lady was registered in nineteen fifty-seven. find and view that film.

seven. january twentieth. the first outdoor feature-length talking motion picture, in old arizona, was made in nineteen twenty-nine. find and view that film, too.

eight. january twenty-first. john fitch, inventor of the steamboat, was born in seventeen forty-three. if it's at all feasible for you to do so, take a ride on a steamboat. if you can't, find some kind of a riverboat and take a ride on that.

nine. january twenty-third. casablanca the film was copyrighted in nineteen forty-three. find and view that film, too.

ten. january twenty-ninth. lawrence hargrave, inventor of the box kite, was born in eighteen fifty. find a box kite. go fly it.

eleven. january thirtieth. bell chimes were invented in fourteen thirty-seven. find a cool set of chimes and send them to someone, preferably a stranger because in my opinion giving to people you don't know makes the giving so much better.

twelve. january thirty-first. coca-cola registered its trademark for "nutrient or tonic beverages" was registered in eighteen ninety-three. find a bottle of coke with your name on it. enjoy!