yall. i has a sad. a very big sad. my packers LOST. THEY FUCKING LOST. i feel like typing but my brain is too despondent to think of something awesome to write, so you get another one of these lovelies from fuck yeah surveys.

one. jennifer kristin griffin

two. aries

three. madness; intimacy; solitude

four. fiction; film; football

five. ann

six. dave matthews band's crash into me

seven. the ability to communicate well; pretty eyes; a nice voice; clever sense of humor

eight. the inability or reluctance to communicate; selfishness; thoughtlessness; making empty promises

nine. magenta

ten. none / two

eleven. i didn't

twelve. pissed off that my packers fucking lost and annoyed that my patriots didn't massacre the steelers; my eyeballs and mouth and skin are dry, but that's because i've not had but one bottle of water today, and that was about ten hours ago; also the folks are nagging me about my conversational style, among other things, which annoys me as well

thirteen. a million dollars

fourteen. single

fifteen. it's a combination of two words colleagues used to describe me

sixteen. star wars: episode v - the empire strikes back; the lord of the rings: the two towers; star trek; serenity; steel magnolias; dedication; about time; good will hunting; philadelphia; playing by heart; seabiscuit; cinderella man

seventeen. u2's with or without you; airborne toxic event's sometime around midnight; smashing pumpkins' stand inside your love; tori amos' baker baker; hootie and the blowfish's not even the trees; third eye blind's the god of wine; temple of the dog's say hello to heaven; indigo girls' prince of darkness; counting crows' anna begins; poe's wild; sara bareilles' between the lines; ingrid michaelson's the chain

eighteen. u2; van halen; airborne toxic event; a fine frenzy; tori amos; sarah mclachlan; def leppard; depeche mode; silversun pickups; garbage; dave matthews band; stevie ray vaughan

nineteen. the packers fucking losing to the goddamned falcons; my inability to find gainful, suitable employment; that i could feel absolutely fine one minute and be sucker punched by the crazy in the next

twenty. the packers winning handily; huntsville, utah in june; the wonder twins' laughter

twenty-one. compassion; kindness; generosity; genuineness; sense of humor

two. my brother

three. my mother

four. i need them too much; they annoy me too often, but i have a feeling that's mutual; they say they're proud of me, but i have a really hard time understanding how that could be

five. meh. the start of football season? does that count?

six. no clue. because. i. don't. do. tumblr

seven. see number twenty-six

eight. i didn't take a shower today

nine. people crowding me, either by riding my ass or pacing me on the roadway or standing too close to me in line at a store; celebrities running their mouths about politics; uninformed people acting like they're geniuses

thirty. french mastiffs and akitas

thirty-one. none

two. whether i did my homework

three. my physical well-being

four. dating the douchebag that jeopardized my physical and mental well-being

five. i don't

six. all the mistakes i've made and how ashamed i am of and can't forgive myself for them

seven. playing on the computer the first and last hours of my day; arguing with my father about petty shit like whether it's three minutes past (according to my computer) or three minutes before (according to his phone) nine p.m.; hanging out at pappadeaux's

eight. get a job; get a book written and published; get my own place

nine. getting a book published

forty. barnes and noble booksellers; pottery barn; williams sonoma; restoration hardware; anthropologie; sur la table

forty-one. chicken spaghetti; blue bell dutch chocolate ice cream; the republic grille's trg salad with salmon; babin's broiled halibut with lump crab lemon butter sauce with capers; ranger cookies; bread and butter

two. watched television

three. writing

four. the best date i've been on... we met at ihop, gave each other tarot card readings (which was actually kind of fun and totally his idea, and i liked that he was game for that), went to mcdonald's for french fries, a texaco station for drinks and then sat in the ihop parking lot for like two hours just talking... i loved that i spent four hours with a guy and never felt uncomfortable or awkward or insignificant; i loved that i could talk to a guy without worrying about what i said

five. are writers, so they're probably not celebrities in the traditional sense, but i'd really like to meet rainbow rowell and jenny lawson

six. there's one in the top left corner

seven. mine? :] the bloggess; tex-erin-in-sydneyland

eight. if the world were perfect four, but it's not so none

nine. no /  no

fifty. why the fuck do the green bay packers still employ dom capers as their defensive coordinator? that goon needs to be booted out on his stupid ass RIGHT NOW

oh look! another survey!

i swiped this from audrey lou.

what are you completely bored of in life right now? depression. two days in a row, i've felt fine until about four p.m. and then the bullshit whammies me and i'm driving down gosling road bawling like my dog just died or something. and then two hours later, i'm fine again.

what is your favorite scented candle? rewined champagne.

what movie do you laugh at the most? ace ventura: pet detective.

what is the last song you listened to? queensryche's silent lucidity.

what’s one thing you still have from your childhood? the scar on my stomach.

what was your least favorite subject in school? geometry. or principles of accounting. or the one about judicial systems.

if you had a superpower, what would it be? i wanna be like professor x so i never have to wonder what the fuck people are thinking so i could stop being such a paranoid wench.

what is the best compliment you’ve ever received? i'm sure there are ones more worthy of the title best, two of which are referenced in this post. but i've never much cared for the skin i'm in, so i'm gonna go with this one: a man i cared for told me i was gorgeous -- i was wearing a gray t-shirt promoting the sport of rugby, ragged blue jeans and beat up doc martens, no make-up, no product in my hair. i'm pretty fond of that memory. and then there's this one. i like it quite a bit, too.

what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done? toured wales by myself.

what’s one thing you need to have in your fridge at any given time? coca-cola.

if you could raid one woman’s closet, who would it be? no one living. i'd snag jackie kennedy onassis' wardrobe.

what is your favorite movie? star wars: episode v -- the empire strikes back. (but if you were to ask me this some other time, that answer would most assuredly be different.)

twitter or instagram? twitter. fuck instagram.

dogs or cats? dogs. definitely.

dolphins or koalas? dolphins. definitely.

bird-watching or whale-watching? neither.

weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? octopus. so disgusting.

what’s your favorite band? van halen, but only because i've loved them longest.

what country do you wish to visit? austria.

what’s your favorite color? green.

least favorite color? burnt orange.

what color dress did you wear to your prom? i didn't go.

blow-dry or air-dry? my hair looks better if i blow-dry it, but i'm usually too impatient to mess with that.

pilates or yoga? neither.

jogging or swimming? swimming. definitely.

best way to decompress? sit at mom's computer in dad's office, blogging, facebooking and listening to music.

what’s the best thing to happen to you last year? i met ann and kelly.

where would you love to live? london.

what’s your midnight snack? crackers or chips.

what do you usually order at starbucks? venti black iced tea with one pump of sugar.

who is the last person you texted? my sister-in-law.

what are three things you can’t live without? film, literature and music.

what’s the first thing you do in the morning? pee.

what is the question you get asked the most? what the hell is your problem?

what’s one word you use too much? fuck.

would you describe yourself as messy or neat? messy.

what karaoke song would you sing without needing the monitor? i wouldn't. stage fright. my eyes would be glued to that screen, regardless of whether i needed to be prompted. and the things i like to sing ain't the things you sing in karaoke.

what’s one skill you wish you had? the ability to shrug shit off.

what is the geekiest thing about you? that i do shit like this? or that i've seen movies dozens of times?

put a little love in your heart

studying english in college meant reading crap like flannery o'connor's good country people and herman melville's billy budd, sailor and a shit ton of shakespeare. i love shakespeare, yall, but a gal can only take so much iambic pentameter. i spent the first two years at a small women's college in nevada, missouri (also called bumfuckville, misery... GREAT college, godawful location). i was sick to death of school. i spent more time playing cards and watching mtv and movies in the basement or trading smut books with my suitemates. the penchant for reading romance novels stuck. 

erin's book challenge kicked off yesterday. today, she asked me what romances i could recommend. some titles are ridiculous, but the stories are pretty good. the ones in bold are the ones i like best. some of'm may be hard to find. some of'm are incredibly sappy, but i like them anyway. some of'm are stories in a series. the ones that are collections are separated by commas. the rest are divided by semi-colons.

contemporary

cecelia ahern: love rosie

sandra brown: fanta c, adam's fall

vanessa diffenbaugh: the language of flowers

gayle forman: if i stay, where she went; just one day

emily giffin: something borrowed, something blue

jane green: straight talking; bookends; jemima j

john green: the fault in our stars

debbie macomber: navy wife

judith mcnaught: paradise

david nicholls: one day

nora roberts: daring to dream, holding the dream, finding the dream; the macgregor brides, the macgregor grooms, the macgregors: alan and grant; seaswept, rising tides, inner harbor, chesapeake blue; born in fire, born in ice, born in shame; the villa; vision in white, bed of roses, savour the moment, happy ever after; the next always, the last boyfriend, the perfect hope; tribute; birthright

rainbow rowell: eleanor and park; attachments; fangirl
ellen shanman: right before your eyes

nicholas sparks: the notebook; a walk to remember

lavyrle spencer: separate beds

katherine stone: promises, roommates, love songs, illusions, bed of roses, happy endings, rainbows, the carlton club, twins.
jennifer weiner: in her shoes

elizabeth young: asking for trouble; a girl's best friend

fantasy

cecelia ahern: p.s. i love you

audrey niffenegger: the time traveler's wife

nora roberts: jewels of the sun, tears of the moon, heart of the sea; blue dahlia, black rose, red lily; key of light, key of knowledge, key of valor; dance upon the air, heaven and earth, face the fire

rainbow rowell: landline

historical

kathleen baldwin: a school for unusual girls, exile for dreamers

julie garwood: the lion's lady, guardian angel, the gift, castles; saving grace; the secret, ransom; the prize; the bride, the wedding

heather graham: one wore blue, one wore gray

johanna lindsey: love only once, tender rebel, gentle rogue; prisoner of my desire

elizabeth lowell: untamed, forbidden, enchanted

judith mcnaught: whitney my love; once and always, something wonderful, almost heaven

romantic suspense

sandra brown: best kept secrets; french silk; mirror image; slow heat in heaven

nora roberts: honest illusions; public secrets; the reef; river's end; genuine lies; the witness; sanctuary

westerns

heather graham: and one rode west

elizabeth lowell: only his, only mine, only you, only love

francine rivers: redeeming love

nora roberts: montana sky

lavyrle spencer: the gamble

my true love gave to me: twelve holiday stories

why i wanted to read it: hello. rainbow rowell. duh. yall should know i'll read pretty much anything that's got her name on it. also it's a selection for erin's book challenge.

what i liked: from rowell's midnights:

noel swung his head around and made eye contact with mags. he raised his eyebrows hopefully; his eyes went all soft and possible. it was definitely a face that said, hey. is it okay if i kiss you?

"oh," mags said. "that's really good."

noel snapped out of it -- and made a face that said, well, duh. "of course it's good. i've kissed girls before" (page 6).

"they're playing our song," he said.

"they're playing 'baby got back'," mags said (page 8).

"what are we doing?" mags asked.

"i don't know..." he said eventually. "i know things have to change, but... i can't lose you. i don't think i get another one like you" (page 21).

from jenny han's polaris is where you'll find me:

it's snowing, of course. there's always snow on the ground here. it makes everything look diamond dusted. the thing about snow is, it's very quiet. the air is hushed. it's like church.

it's reverential (page 96).

living where i live, it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between magic and make believe (page 98).

from david levithan's your temporary santa:

i want them to see me holding his hand. i want to be holding his hand. i want him to love me when i'm naughty and when i'm nice. i want. i want. i want.

i am worried about being in love, because it involves asking so much. i am worried that my life will never fit into his. that i will never know him. that he will never know me. that we get to hear the stories, but never get to hear the full truth.

"enough," i say to myself. i need to say it out loud, because i need to actually hear it (page 145).

it should be enough as i step over him and see the welcome in his eyes. it should be enough to see his hair pointing in all different directions, and the fact that there are cowboys on his pajama pants and he is telling me he can't believe he fell asleep. it should be enough that he is beckoning me now -- it should be enough to join him in the bed, blanket pulled aside. it should be enough to feel his hand on my shoulder, his lips lightly on my lips. but something is not right. i still feel that, in some way, i should not be here (page 147).

from holly black's krampuslauf: 

when i was a kid, i didn't understand that santa's elves weren't the kind from storybooks. i thought his toy shop was staffed with fauns and boggarts, sprites and trolls, goblins and pixies. before mom left, when i made lists to give to santa, they were always full of magical things. i wanted a cloak that could make me fly. i wanted a tiny doll, no bigger than my finger and as perfectly jointed as a living person. after mom left, i wanted crystal balls with which to scrye my mother and magical chalk that could draw me a doorway to her, and a magical potion i could make her drink that would make her care about us (pages 130-131).

our first christmas together, anne sewed me a tiny doll with jointed cloth limbs and thin embroidery floss for hair. i guess dad told her about my old christmas lists.

i didn't let her know, but i'd teared up when i saw the doll. i was too old for it, but i didn't care. i carried her around in my purse, until she got too sticky with jolly ranchers and marked up by pens that i had to retire her to a bookshelf in my room (page 159).

"we brought gifts," the boy... said, and the blond reached into his coat and brought out a bottle of clear liquor. he removed the cork with his teeth. "mine is holiday cheer" (page 169).

that was the moment i decided that since magic was real... since i'd made this party out of two hundred bucks and sheer determination, then maybe i was wrong about the things i thought i couldn't have, that weren't for me. maybe it was okay to imagine greater things. maybe it was all for me, if i wanted it (page 175).

from gayle forman's what the hell have you done, sophie roth?:

she'd had defenders in that class. wingmen. even if she hadn't noticed them. hadn't noticed him. the truth was, she didn't notice a lot of things at school. she kept her head down, wore blinders. it was a survival tactic. only now did she wonder if it was a stupid survival tactic, like wearing a life jacket made of metal. 

"i asked about you, after the class... but i never spotted you for more than a blur. until tonight... i was debating saying something. you were looking pretty fierce, not fit for company... but then you mentioned ned flanders, and i had to say something" (pages 195-196).

what if the mistake wasn't coming here, but being blind to any of that? 

what the hell have you done, sophie roth? she thought to herself for the umpteenth time. but it felt different now (page 199).

from myra mcentire's beer buckets and baby jesus:

shame leads to secrets, and secrets lead to lies, and lies ruin everything. especially friendships. no kid wants to explain that his mom can't bring snacks to class because she ran out of xanax before the pharmacy would refill the prescription. other parents stop inviting you to birthday parties, because you don't reciprocate. no one asks you to join sports teams, because you never meet the registration deadlines, and if you do, no one ever remembers to pay your league fees. soon enough, people forget you altogether.

so you do things that make them remember (pages 210-211).

the story by stephanie perkins called it's a yuletide miracle, charlie brown. that one and the first one by rowell -- noel and mags are amazing -- are my favorites. welcome to christmas, ca by kiersten white's alright.

what sucked: the last two stories. that even though i marked pages of others because i liked what was written, i didn't love the stories so much.

having said that: it's not a bad collection. my biggest complaint is the stories i loved were way too short and the stories i loathed were much too long.

ten things to celebrate in january: a scavenger hunt

one. january tenth. peculiar people day. peculiar: strange; odd; unusual; funny; curious; bizarre; weird; abnormal; exceptional; extraordinary; remarkable; puzzling; mysterious; perplexing; baffling; suspicious; eerie; uncanny; unnatural; freakish; fishy; creepy; spooky; eccentric; unconventional; wacky; oddball...

read or watch miss peregrin's home for peculiar children. what's the first word on the tenth line of the one hundred tenth page or what's being said in the seventieth minute of the film and by whom? also, write a letter to the strangest person you know telling him or her what you most appreciate about that person's character. lastly, what makes you peculiar, and how do you feel about that trait or talent?

1. 
   

two. january twelfth. feast of fabulous wild men day. my mother thinks the most fabulous wild man is tarzan. fact AND fiction, who are yours and why? take a picture with the factual one, if you can. share a favored line of dialogue by the fictional one, if you can't.

three. january thirteenth. make your dream come true day. what's a dream of yours? do one thing that works toward making that dream a reality. sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. and i promise you, something great will come of it (benjamin mee -- we bought a zoo). be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold (herbert spencer).

four. january sixteenth. appreciate a dragon day. what's your favorite film, novel or program that contains a dragon in it? if it's a film, what's being said in the seventy-sixth minute (this is a corrected time; for those of you who may have already accomplished this task, you may keep it at the original eighty-sixth) of the film and by whom? if it's a book, what's the sixth word on the tenth line of the first page? if it's a program, what's being said in the sixth minute of the tenth episode in the first season and by whom?

five. january twenty-third. national handwriting day. write a letter. WRITE it, as in put a pen or pencil to paper and fill a sheet of stationery with the words of your choosing, stuff it in an envelope, seal it, stamp it and put it in the post. let someone you love know you love them and why. because it's that time of the year when we all get a little down in the dumps, yeah? the echoes of the hurrahs from the holidays have faded. winter's setting in. warm that person's heart in a way that can be cherished for more than a millisecond.

six. january twenty-fourth. squirrel appreciation day. there's a book called scaredy squirrel by melanie watt. that squirrel's afraid of pretty much everything. chances are good that you're afraid of one of the things the squirrel is. do one thing that scares you (eleanor roosevelt). that thing you and the squirrel are afraid of? do a thing that pertains to that fear. AND THEN, help a friend face one of his or her fears that is similar to the squirrel's.

seven. january twenty-fifth. opposite day. wear a t-shirt backward for the entirety of your day.

eight. january twenty-eighth. chinese new years day. treat yourself and a friend to some chinese food. also, what's a trait of your chinese zodiac sign (i'm an ox, by the way. yay) that you do not have? how can you cultivate that characteristic? what's a trait that you do have? if it's one you're not proud of, how can you alter its prevalence?

nine. january twenty-ninth. national puzzle day. put a puzzle of more than five hundred pieces together. you can get a little help from your friends if you like, but i'd prefer you do this by yourself. because i'm evil like that.

ten. january thirty-first. inspire your heart with art day. spend a day at an art museum or gallery (this was edited to include galleries because i neglected to consider their advantages when i originally wrote the post) admiring the creativity of others. visit the gift shop if there is one and buy some postcards depicting artwork you favor or find postcards elsewhere if there is no gift shop (an additional edit) and drop a grateful line to your craftier friends.

ten things celebrated in december: a scavenger hunt

one. december first. national pie day. also national eat a red apple day. buy, or if you're feeling especially awesome, bake an apple pie and take it to the servers of a favored restaurant. they bring you food and drink at your beck and call. be sweet and bring them some treats. in this case, i purchased goodies from pie in the sky and delivered them to my people at pappadeaux's.

shannon requested a chai tea latte

claire (right) with hanna

two. december second. national salesperson's day. when you're out shopping for those special gifts, ask an associate what a good pick-me-up would be. what can you do to put a bright spot in her day? chances are good it'll be a simple as a cup of starbucks or, in the case of one of my manager friends, a route forty-four diet coke from sonic with hardly any ice in it. while snagging some of those plaid coffee mugs for my dad's office, i got to visit with some of the gals at pottery barn. claire, who originally balked when i'd asked for a picture and then snuck in at the last second, shared her triple chocolate chunk cookie with hanna. so sweet, these ladies. i love them.

three.

three. december fifth. bathtub party day. snag a favored scented shower gel from bath and body works (or wherever you go for that stuff... i'm partial to bodycology's white gardenia, which can be found at the grocery store for like four bucks), pour a glass of wine, put on some music or listen to a bit of an audio book you've been dying to read but haven't had the time. give yourself a blessed hour. your family will probably thank you for it.

four.

four. december sixth. st. nicholas day. surely you know a nick or a nicholas. take some time out of your day to send a special note to that person. i wrote my great uncle, the monk living in utah.

five.

five. december tenth. nobel prize day. here's a list of the laureates in literature. choose one and share a line or two from a work you admire.

of all the books i was supposed to read in high school the good earth was one of only two that i liked.

The old man let his scanty tears dry upon his cheeks and they made salty stains there. And he stooped and took up a handful of soil and he held it and muttered, "If you sell the land, it is the end."

six. december twelfth. poinsettia day. pick up one of these gorgeous creations and take it to a friend you've not seen in some time.

seven. december thirteenth. national cocoa day. take a breather from the christmas shopping. treat yourself to a cup of hot chocolate.

eight. that just rolled out of bed look.

eight. december fifteenth. cat herders day. surely you know someone who's got one too many cats in his or her house. and surely those cats are wreaking havoc on the christmas decor. find a cute cat card and send it their way. they may be needing the reminder of why they love the things right about then.

nine. lunch with linda.

nine. december twenty-first. winter solstice day. the longest night of the year. the hardest time of the year for some. there are those who are grieving. there are those who are in the throes of some pretty wicked depression, and this time of year is NEVER good for them. find a way to bring them some warmth, to shed some light. check with your local service organizations and see what you can do to help those in need. take some flowers to a senior living facility. treat a friend who may be grieving to lunch or a movie. or just sit with them for a while. listen.

ten. december twenty-eighth. national card playing day. we spend so much time on our phones or sitting at computers being "sociable". try getting a group of friends together for a game of hearts or spades, uno, skip-bo or phase ten. turn the television off. sit at a table and enjoy each other. have a game night. unwind.

i spent an afternoon playing cards with two of my writing friends, ann and kelly. the latter brought with her a game called splendor, which is pretty nifty. i recommend you check it out.

reading recap: the sixth

the ones i've read

landline
eleanor and park
the fault in our stars
the language of flowers
wonder

one day

redeeming love

i see you everywhere

the perks of being a wallflower
a school for unusual girls
just one day
where she went
attachments
if i stay
finding paris
the truth about alice
love is a mix tape
me before you
the royal we

dash and lily's book of dares
fangirl
dr. bird's advice for sad poets
exile for dreamers
meant to be
the statistical probability of love at first sight

the silver linings playbook
thirteen little blue envelopes
love and other perishable items
stargirl
persuasion
divergent
after you
makeovers at the beauty counter of happiness

fifty shades darker

fifty shades of grey
the time of my life
insurgent
all there is: love stories from storycorps
the testament
the chance
the wit and wisdom of mark twain
how to love
julie and romeo

the phantom tollbooth
thin, rich, pretty
allegiant
this is what happy looks like

fifty shades freed

the ones i'd started

interpreter of maladies
gone with the wind
the book thief

the help
the absolutely true diary of a part-time indian
althea and oliver
six impossible things
this is where i leave you
a stained white radiance
forever amber
two kisses for maddy
captivating
so long insecurity
the sisters mortland
how to eat a cupcake
another piece of my heart

mennonite in a little black dress
the noticer
maximum achievement
rays of the dawn
the fountainhead

the ones i (wish i could've) took back
because they bored me

every day
whiskey beach
gates of fire
just one year
if he had been with me
anna and the french kiss
the arrivals
how to be single
crime and punishment
looking for alaska
an abundance of katherines
the best of me

a casual vacancy

if you could see me now
prep
lucy sullivan getting married

and a bunch of others whose titles i've forgotten.

exile for dreamers

why i wanted to read it: because i liked its predecessor well enough.

what i liked: the characters. the continuation of the conflicts established in the prequel. i like tess more than i like georgiana.

what sucked: since i've begun sharing snippets on picky from the books i've read, i don't think i've ever not marked a single page, but that happened this time. it's possible, though, that i'd built this one up a little too much. also, i might've read it a little too hastily. i like georgiana's dude, wyatt, a WHOLE lot more than i like tess' ravencross. i really liked ravencross in the first one, so i was excited to get to know these two. i wasn't as enthralled with the story as i had been with the other one.

having said that: it's good. i'm looking forward to reading the next one.

a school for unusual girls

why i wanted to read it: because i met the author at last year's montgomery county teen book festival and LOVED her. she is one of the friendliest authors i've had the pleasure to meet. of course, i'd interviewed her prior to having attended this thing, so that could've had something to do with it. you can read her responses here. so she's lovely, right? she's also got a pretty damned fine idea for a story. i don't normally like historical fiction, but the more she talked about this novel, the more i wanted to read it.

what i liked: hope does not shatter all at once (page 30).

"even so, she's a mere girl. new to the school." sebastian crossed his arms. "what can she possibly know of chemistry and ink formulas? chemistry requires an understanding of mathematics. in my experience, girls' heads are full of fripperies and trinkets. their weightiest calculations are deciding how many ruffles they want on their next ball gown."

fripperies? ruffles?  i curled my fingers around a decaying timber. what an arrogant jackanape. i'd like to hit him over the head with a calculation or two... "for your information, i have never given a single thought to the number of ruffles on my ball gown. ever." (pages 37-38).

"although she must have bumped her head. she keeps going on about ruffles."

"i do not. and for your information, a ball gown doesn't have ruffles. it has flounces."

"see what i mean?" sebastian shook his head mournfully. "poor thing is delirious" (page 39).

"put me down, sir." 

"lord wyatt is a viscount, georgiana. one must address him as my lord, rather than sir." miss stranje instructed me as if i were a complete simpleton. "thus you would say, 'kindly put me down, my lord.'"

i didn't care whether he was a viscount or a fishmonger (page 40).

"no, no," i ordered. "spread them out. they need to dry thoroughly for the test to be accurate."

"tsk, tsk, you must address me properly, as my lord, remember?" he mimicked miss stranje's scolding voice as he spread the papers. "thus you would say, my lord, would you please be so good, and kind, and tolerant, and forbearing, as to spread out the test papers so that they might dry thoroughly? at this point, if you were a well-schooled young lady, you would flutter your long lashes and demurely add, if you would do me this one kindness, my lord, i will be forever in your debt."

my mouth opened in search of an appropriate response, but nothing came (page 212).

i love these characters. all of them. even the nasty ones are well-conceived, as is the story. sure it follows the formula a bit. and it's cheesy at times, and while i am normally not a fan of the queso, i don't mind it here.

it's fun and clever. good stuff. it's a very fast read.

what sucked: it's been a while since i read it, but i can't really think of anything that bothered me so much that it bears mentioning here.

having said that: i was so eager to read the sequel, and i've not been so excited to read a book all year.

the royal we

why i wanted to read it: because erin recommended it. and it was a selection for her last reading challenge.

what i liked: the criminal loss of one made up for the egregious loss of the other (page 283).

"knickers'll need nurturing through this," freddie said over pints the night before operation pole began. "the last time a great hairy hooved beast thundered toward him, he cried."

"from the dander," nick said.

freddie cupped his hear. "the danger, you say?" (page 302).

"what's her name?"

"i absolutely know the answer to that, but i choose to keep it private for her own protection."

"no clue, then."

"i've one clue. it's vaguely musical." i frown. "triangle? treble clef?" (page 462).

again, i marked about a dozen pages, but after reading them again i wasn't as impressed. for the most part, i like the characters and the story. it reads fairly quickly. the dialogue's pretty good. the story's chock full of conflict.

what sucked: it's about two hundred pages longer than it needs to be. it's drawn out and predictable as shit. i spotted the villains right off, mostly because their names are pretty freaking suited to miscreants. and the princes in this story? you might as well call them william and harry rather than nicholas and freddie.

having said that: i enjoyed it. it's fun.

after you

why i wanted to read it: because i thought i wanted to know what happened to louisa. and it was a selection for the last book challenge erin hosted. i read a whopping five titles last time, yall. usually i manage about half that many. out of ten books. because reading ten books in like four months, for me, seems to be a ginormous feat i may never accomplish, but you know... every time she announces the categories for the next one, i'm all i will finish this bitch this time. this has been going on for a LONG time.

what i liked: sometimes i felt as if we were all wading around in grief, reluctant to admit to others how far we were waving or drowning. i wondered fleetingly whether sam's reluctance to talk about his wife mirrored my reluctance to discuss will; the kind of knowledge that the moment you opened the box, let out even a whisper of your sadness, it would mushroom into a cloud that overwhelmed all other conversation (page 147).

i'd marked about a dozen pages, but after going over them (and it's been months since i'd read this book, so i was reading those pages again without considering the context of those that come before and after), i only like the bit on that one, and i'm not that enthused about the thing.

as for the story, there are parts of it i could appreciate it, and most of those were scenes that involved sam or lily.

what sucked: i did not like louisa in this book. she annoyed the ever-loving hell out of me. nor did i like camilla. i could not reconcile this novel's version of either of these women with those in me before you. and yeah, i know grief can change a gal in some pretty fantastic ways, but... it's like moyes has changed their dna or something. i don't buy it. also there's a subplot involving louisa's parents that is redonkulus.

having said that: watch the film version of me before you. don't even bother with the books.

fuck yeah survey: food

one. how do you feel about golden oreos? meh.

two. what is your favorite dessert topping? cool whip.

three. what is your favorite flavor/brand of bubble gum? super bubble.

four. favorite cheese? kraft american.

five. favorite lunch meat? turkey.

six. favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate.

seven. best-looking food? chicken spaghetti.

eight. best food to put cheese on? bread.

nine. best sexual food? i don't have that kind of an imagination, yall, and i'm alright with this.

ten. best-tasting drink in the summer? coca-cola.

eleven. best-tasting drink in winter? hot chocolate.

twelve. best food for a night out with friends? a variety of appetizers. finger foods. fried things.

thirteen. best foods to eat with a roll? luby's fried fish, macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes.

fourteen. messiest food? barbecue.

fifteen. easiest food to prepare? bagels.

sixteen. cheapest food you ever ate? ramen.

seventeen. most expensive food you ever ate? stuffed flounder.

eighteen. stinkiest food you ever ate? oysters.

nineteen. favorite dipping sauce? chic-fil-a.

twenty. best pizza topping? hamburger and bell peppers.

twenty-one. favorite potato chip flavor? regular lay's or ruffles potato chips.

twenty-two. most toxic substance you ever ate? glue.

twenty-three. most calories you ate in one meal? gino's pizza. i don't remember how much but it was A LOT.

twenty-four. favorite soda? coca-cola.

twenty-five. favorite flavor of juice? cranberry (probably because i like the coca-cola a little too much, and subconsciously my body is saying bitch, please.)

twenty-six. favorite vegetable? green beans.

twenty-seven. favorite fruit? blackberries.

twenty-eight. worst canned food? spam.

twenty-nine. best side dish? macaroni and cheese.

thirty. worst fast food restaurant? long john silver's.

thirty-one. best restaurant? the republic grille. (yall probably thought i was gonna say pappadeaux's, didn't you?)

thirty-two. best-smelling food? blueberry muffins.

thirty-three. favorite appetizer? cheese and crackers.

thirty-four. favorite cookie flavor? ranger cookies. 

thirty-five. favorite cake flavor? chocolate.

thirty-six. favorite pie flavor? blueberry banana cream pie.

thirty-seven. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow.

thirty-eight. ketchup or mustard? ketchup.

thirty-nine. best food to have on a date? the kind that i don't get all over my face.

forty. most shareable food? cookies.

survey found here.

stuck on you: where there is love there is life

about a month ago, i drove into west houston to attend an author event at blue willow bookshop, which is probably where i should buy all my books but driving from the woodlands to memorial city sucks ass (i usually take ninety-nine which means i'm spending money to drive on a road not funded by my tax-payed dollars, and then i have to get on interstate ten which is the devil's freeway: the stretch from ninety-nine to six is like the third layer of hell, six to the sam houston tollway's the fourth, toll to chimney rock's the fifth, chimney rock to loop six ten is the sixth, loop to shepherd's the seventh, shepherd to forty-five's the eighth, and then you're in it... the ninth layer of HELL), really, so... and i forget i could just call them and say ship it to me... because barnes and nobles is closer and there's this computer right here...

anyway... i drove into west houston to hear gayle forman talk and get a signed copy of her latest, leave me. while waiting, kept finding things to buy, and so i left with a bag of books instead of the one.

and the one i liked most of those purchased that day is stuck on you: one hundred forty quirky love quotes that stick in your memory and on your stuff. (it's in the bag, the brown and pink one on the left.) on the cover are the words where there is love there is life. i picked it up and flipped it open and landed on these quotes:

the deeper your scars, the more room there is to fill them up with love (daniel chidiac).

i have found that if you love life, life will love you back (arthur rubinstein). 

i had to buy it. i have to remember to fill the scars with good things. because i so often forget to do this.

so... a few of the good things:

great mystery, teach me how to trust my heart (lakota prayer).

if grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life (cher).

you are a conductor of light (sir arthur conan doyle).

oh, what a beautiful season... for some

i used to love this time of year. like really love it. like, i'd decorate my room and have my christmas shopping done before thanksgiving and have all my presents wrapped before mom had even rearranged the den to make room for and set up the tree. christmas was my favorite holiday. not because i got presents, though, i'll admit, i'm a greedy wench who likes getting a whole lot more than giving. and i like giving quite a bit. but because i believed it brought out the best in everyone.

i used to love it. i used to think it was the most magical time of the year, and that's what made it wonderful.

and then the magic began to fade. years went by and i'd face yet another holiday season as a single woman. i've never been in love at christmas time. i'm watching all these damned hallmark movies, and i love a lot of them. i used to believe in their possibilities, but they're just stories to me now.

christmas decorations didn't go up until the day after thanksgiving. and then that friday became black friday. and then thanksgiving became black thursday. and shopping centers put up their decorations and stores began advertising their holiday sales before halloween. the way we draw this season out now... if a little christmas spirit's good, a lot of it must be better, right? all that does is make me aware of what i lack, make that period last that much longer.

so there's no man for me. fine. the only reason i want one anymore is because every now and then i think it must be really nice to be held, to have someone hold onto you. other than that, meh. seems more of a hassle, really, to have a relationship than not. i'm well aware of the perks of the single life, and the last man i dated made me appreciate those perks a hell of a lot more than i'd ever done before.

my brother's been gone now for thirteen years. i don't get to find the perfect plaid button-down for him anymore. i don't get to hear him tease me about how he's found me the perfect present. i don't get to argue with him over why that ornament shouldn't be hung in that spot. i don't get to harass him about getting his lazy ass out of bed christmas morning so we can open our presents. but there's also... i don't get to worry that he won't live to see christmas morning, like i did that last one he was with us. i don't have to see my mother worry. not about that.

now i get to see her worry about her heart, and how it's not beating right. i get to worry that something awful will happen between now and christmas day, and she won't be with us. she spent this past weekend in the hospital. they put her under friday and tried to shock her heart back to a regular rhythm. i spent that day praying she wouldn't die. i spent the next one berating myself because i should've prayed that the procedure would've worked. i spent that weekend praying she would come home. i miss the times we spent at our cabin in colorado making paper chains and popcorn ornaments. i miss the innocence of the days of her playing her old holiday vinyls, like the new christy minstrels' merry christmas! album. that one had been my favorite. she put that one on thursday morning, december first. that night, my father was telling me about the procedure she was having the next day, and the first words out of my mouth were, could it kill her? i hate that that's the question i thought to ask. that i had hurt him in asking it. i hate that i had to prod her to write down her wishes for her funeral services just in case. hate that my brother's death has since forced me to be so damned practical.

i hate that my other brother's children are in mississippi. that we don't get to spend christmas with them this year. fine. we'll celebrate christmas again a few days later.

but mostly, i hate how selfish people are, how pushy they've become. how when i'm standing in line at hobby lobby to buy the frames my mother requested for the photos she wants to give my cousins' wives, the woman behind me has to keep inching forward because she's in that much of a hurry to buy her four rolls of wrapping paper. that i can't hold my ground and stand before the clerk who's ringing up my purchase, that i've to step further and further away from the clerk because the customer is crowding me. how when i say, i've moved three times for you; can you please stop?, she has to insist she's nowhere near me. i hate that i can't see that. that she's taking up so much room in my vision, i've lost all concept of everything else. that i can't just wait the handful of seconds it would've taken for the clerk to finish ringing me up before i explode and embarrass myself. that i've made others' shopping experiences unpleasant and the clerk's day that much more difficult because they've had to witness my kind of crazy. that all this grief boils over into my hollering at the customer that that may be enough room for you, but it's not for me because i can't see! i know i've ranted about this a lot. i hate that i can't make people understand how terrifying that can be for me. the picture on wikipedia's post about depth perception? if i were walking down that street, it'd look as flat to me as it does to you in that photo. that's how my vision works. i don't have a front and back, a near and far. i've a top and bottom, a right and left. all the cues mentioned on that page are crucial, vital to my ability to judge my place in my surroundings, and if too many of those are compromised because someone's standing in too close a proximity, i could lose it.

every time i go out, i risk that. i'd managed to be kind to everyone that day (except for when i was driving, but they're not hearing me bitch, so that doesn't count). i'd managed this for hours. i was at my second-to-last stop. i'd begun to think i was gonna get through the day without incident.

i had to put myself in time out after that. i drove to pappadeaux's and had a few cups of chamomile tea and carried on with my day. when i got home, i helped mom, who'd come home from the hospital the day before (thank god), get some of the christmas decorations out while we watched a hallmark movie. how ironic is it that the one she picked was about a boy who needed a heart transplant?

i hate that i've come to hate this time of year. i miss the days when it was magical. i wish it could be so again.