the perks of being a wallflower

why i wanted to read it: because i used to work at a bookstore, and this was one of those titles that i saw pass through the checkout line frequently. because it's small. i figured it'd be a quick read. and i really like tiny books that pack a punch. it didn't have that fanfare around like twilight and harry potter or, now, fifty shades. so it's kind of quiet book, but there must be something about it that resonates. it'd been sitting on my desktop, in the queue, for some time, however. and then i saw the movie, which i liked quite a bit, and meant to get around to reading it... but there's a lot on my get-around-to-this list.

what i liked: that's when i started thinking about my sister... how she was actually very pretty. and how different her face looked when she realized boys thought she was pretty. and how different her face looked the first time she really liked a boy who was not on a poster on her wall. and how her face looked when she realized she was in love with that boy. and then i wondered how her face would look when she came out from behind those doors.

when i thought that, i started to cry... and i couldn't let that happen because my sister was counting on me, and this was the first time anyone ever counted on me for anything" (p. 118).

i know that i brought all this on myself. i know that i deserve this. i'd do anything not to be this way. i'd do anything to make it up to everyone. and to not have to see a psychiatrist, who explains to me about being "passive agressive." and to not have to take the medicine he gives me, which is too expensive for my dad. and to not have to talk about bad memories with him. or be nostalgic about bad things (p. 139).

i look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. if they like their jobs. or us. and i wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. not in a mean way. in a curious way. it's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report on top of that. or wondering who did the heartbreaking. and wondering why (p. 142).

what sucked: nothing.

having said all that: i still say one day is the best book i've read this year so far. but i did like this one quite a bit.